The Goose Election
“That’s not how this game works… guys.”
I’m a good duck. A good duck means the same thing as a goose. But right now, the tank and Geunja are bad geese. A bad goose means the same thing as a duck. In other words… I’m a citizen, and they’re the mafia.
“So, since some new people just joined… let me sum it up. I’m a good duck. A citizen. And I’m going to kill the bad geese… the mafia.”
“You don’t understand? Hmm…” I’ve got nothing to say. What am I even supposed to explain? Do you think the world runs purely on logic and honesty? Sometimes it runs on emotion too. Why don’t you guys get what I get? Still don’t understand? Then…
“Just feel it.”
“Thank you, everyone.” Permission granted. Then… the hunt begins. I’m going to kill every single bad guy with my own hands. The hunt starts now.
I set out to find the bad geese (citizens). But reality wasn’t kind. The dream only lasted four minutes.
— Thud.
“PapaChoi and Seon-a are ducks. They’re in on it together.”
I was never in on anything. Honestly, I barely know the guy. But because of these foolish, manipulated geese, I got hanged for no reason. Seriously… I love geese so much. How could they do this? Really… these stupid geese being played by corrupt geese… it’s so unfair.
“Kya~ Well played.”
“Whoa, Papa’s actually terrifying.”
“Hahaha. Too bad. We could’ve caught them all…”
“Next round right away?”
“Let’s go.”
I couldn’t even get a word in. The excited geese took over the game. Straight into the next round.
[Dodo Bird] Neutral role. Neither with the geese nor the ducks. In real-world terms, this is a member of the National Assembly. You win by collecting votes and getting elected.
Forget the last round. Focus again. Focus. You’re the queen of over-immersion. Damn… how am I supposed to get votes from these foolish citizens when I’m an awakened elite?! Everyone just doesn’t understand my grand plan! Still… I have to enlighten these foolish geese. I have to persuade them and turn this into a good country. It’ll be tough. I’ll want to give up. But this is my mission. If God asks me, “Seon-a, are you ready to change the world?” I’ll answer:
“I’ll change it! A new world. Candidate number 0, Seon-a! A righteous country. A country without mafia. A country where geese can be happy! Everyone, lend me your strength!!”
Today the words just kept flowing. Probably because I’ve been hanging out with big company seniors all the time, and now I’m with people like me, so I got excited without realizing it. Maybe I’m actually pretty good at over-immersion too? That’s why you should hang out with your own kind. It’s fun. It’s so much fun!!
I made a promise on stream once… I can’t remember it right now, I’d have to check my notes. Anyway, this time… I’m making one more promise. I want to gather all my friends—our squad, Maem, everyone—and play fun games together every day!! To do that, I have to get stronger! I’m going to get stronger. I’ll escape being a small-time VTuber and play with them whenever I have time! I want to play without worrying about bothering anyone!! I’m going to gather tons of friends and play fun games every single day.
Today I’m making another promise. I need to grow my size. That’s how you get peace of mind. It’s inevitable. It’s learned fear, an unchangeable rule. But I still want to play with my friends!! So I have to grow. I’ll escape being small-time and at least reach mid-tier. I’ll grow my size!! I’m going to work really hard on personal streams, collabs, and YouTube until I make it to mid-tier!! Okay. Promise made. Focus again.
“I’m going to change the country. Please vote for me. Everyone, please vote for me. Uh… dear voters. Hello!!”
“Huh? What is it this time?”
“To make the country prosperous… Candidate number 0, Seon-a. If you vote for me… I’ll order the demolition of every chicken factory and duck soup restaurant! I’ll shoot all the ducks too!! What do you think?”
“Ah…” The voter’s reaction was lukewarm. Ah… I get it.
“You’re a duck.”
“What? No I’m not.”
“I gave a good policy for geese, so why the lukewarm reaction?”
Caught red-handed. Of course they wouldn’t vote for me if they’re a duck.
“Where’s the sheriff!! Arrest them right now.”
Did you think I wouldn’t know? My eyes don’t lie. I ran while shouting so the duck wouldn’t stab me.
“Here! Duck spotted! Here! Duck spotted! Sheriff!!! Sheriff!!!”
Luckily I escaped… and reached the group of geese.
“Everyone, I found a duck.”
“Eh? How?”
“Ah… that would take too long to explain… I just found one.”
“Really? Who died?”
“No one’s died yet… Ah, more importantly.” I cleared my throat. “Everyone. If you vote for candidate number 0 Seon-a… I’ll work for the geese. A goose who walks the walk. Candidate number 0 Seon-a. Remember—number 0!”
“Ohoho?”
“Yes?”
“Hahahihahaha. Ah~ It’s the dodo bird.”
I thought I fooled them, but Maem… how did she know? She’s such a proper lady, her intuition must be no joke. She really is a pure-blooded woman, huh?
“I’m Seon-a, who wants to become a member of the National Assembly. I want to change the country!! If you vote for me… I’ll create a world where everyone is happy!!” I poured all my passion into it.
“Ehehehahaha. Ah~ I see. I’ll think about it.”
“It’s not something to think about. Ring the bell and vote for me right now!!”
“Okay~ Then I’ll go ring it…”
— Thud.
So a goose who didn’t support me died.
“Someone reported me while passing through area B. I think it’s the assassin.”
“An assassin… Then… everyone. I have something to say.” To become a public official, you need charisma. The kind of charisma that sways the masses…
“Everyone, please vote for me! If you vote for me… I’ll develop the country. If you need anything, just say it. I’ll build it all for you.” I made empty promises. This much is fine. I can do all of it once I’m elected anyway. Can’t do it? Well, too bad.
“That person is the dodo bird.”
“Get rid of the dodo bird~”
“No, you traitors!! You’re ducks ruining the country…!! We have to exile them first!! Vote for me. I’ll exile those ducks!!”
If you don’t support me, you’re all ducks! Support me already!
“Please support me. If you don’t vote for me, you’re all ducks.” It’s childish, but this is the world you made. You felt my appeal, right? I’m obviously going to win, right? Huh…? No… Ah… The disappointment is huge.
“I… got zero votes… I can’t believe it.” Seriously. I believed in them. What’s the point of making good promises if they don’t understand? Sigh… I let out a long breath.
“This country is rotten. You chicken-brains. You can’t even recognize an elite goose like me.”
“Ehehehahaha.” Maem… now’s not the time to laugh. This rotten country… what do I do? If only they were a little smarter, just a little smarter… Sigh… It was so sad. But I can’t give up. Even so, I have to change the world. That’s my mission.
“I’ll change it anyway. I’ll keep trying.” I continued campaigning. Even if everyone ignored me and persecuted me… I was on the people’s side until the end. A politician who walks the walk. A politician who listens to the people’s hearts. That’s me.
“Please vote for me. Everyone… to protect yourselves from the ducks… vote for m—”
— Thud.
Voting time came again. I clicked my tongue after seeing the results.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk tsk tsk. You got what you deserved. I told you to vote for me. Tsk, seriously. You got punished. If you’d voted for me, three people would still be alive.”
It was so frustrating. If they’d voted for me (if they vote for a citizen), everyone would’ve been happy. This is why they keep getting eaten by ducks. I campaigned like crazy, but in the end, the ducks (mafia) won. What stupid geese (citizens)… I’m never helping them again.
Yesterday… I kept the concept going for a round or two, but eventually I couldn’t maintain it and broke character. I ran out of ideas, so I just played normally. I must’ve done over fifteen rounds. I never dreamed I’d play that many. It was really exhausting, but it was fun.
More importantly, I’m in trouble right now. Emergency…!!
“Hoo… ha…” I have nothing prepared today. That’s the big problem. I’ve been using collabs to fill the schedule for the competition prep, and now it’s time for a solo stream. For someone who prepared zero content, this is a sudden disaster.
“What do I do?” I really have nothing. But I have to come up with something. That’s what a streamer does. Something I’m good at… something I’m good at? Honestly, I don’t know… I don’t know? Ah! Then turn on YouTube, you idiot!! If you don’t know, check YouTube. The answer will be there.
“Hmm… VRChat? The reactions were good, right? Hmm… Ah! This one was good.” Was this the first video that blew up? Maybe? Anyway, that video was probably VRChat. Next is… Wow. I really played a lot of games, huh? Way more than I thought. Looking at it like this, I’ve really been running nonstop. My growth is obvious too. I’m doing really well, Seon-a.
“Ah, no… so what am I actually going to do!!” My thoughts keep drifting. I grabbed my focus tightly and checked YouTube. After ten minutes of thinking, I decided.
“Let’s just start the stream first.” Yeah. If I start late, I’ll get yelled at for starting late. Not having content ready is temporary, but being late gets you yelled at forever. So I’ll just start and figure it out. That was my conclusion.
“Hello everyone~ It’s a solo stream today!”
It’s been a while since I did a personal stream. A really long while. I’m nervous, excited, and scared all at once. I still remember one of the YouTube comments: “Seon-a’s solo streams are seriously boring.” No. Today I’m going to prove that wrong. Hmm, how do I prove it? Ah! That’s right!! I have to find that thing. Yeah. That’s it. The grown-up Seon-a is different. She’s different now. A streamer who knows how to find that. Only then can I escape being a small-time VTuber. I’m not the same small-time streamer I used to be. I’ve eaten so much experience now. I’m going to show them. Show them. Show them.