Tournament?! (2)
Aaaah… No, this won’t do. If I go through with this, I won’t get a refund. I have to request it within two hours… I can still get my money back. Once those two hours are up, it’s over. I’ve already played two matches, so only fifty minutes left. “Ugh…”
But I already sent the message: “Let’s play together…” My seventy thousand won… Aaaargh. My money. Aaaah. To earn seventy thousand won through gaming… it’s really tough. The moment I launch a game, my donations get locked. I’d have to play all day just to barely make up for it. Doing anything else earns me at least four times as much… If I want to make money, I have to work insanely hard. Looks like I’m going to have to grind like crazy today…
I opened the script collection I’d made earlier. Talk every five minutes while gaming. Read the chat every five minutes. If I just do that well, people will think better of me…! I know my problems… I can fix them. “Hup. Hup.” I clenched my fists and made a vow. I can do it if I try. I’m capable… probably.
Ding.
— Moddeok: Then how about we play a bit later? Duo?
— Seon-a: Yep! Just call me when you’re ready!!
— Moddeok: Got it~
The coin I flipped… Ugh… My head hurts. Can I actually do this? My head was throbbing. My heart wants to try… but my brain is ordering me not to. It speaks coldly. You think you’ll be good at FPS? Just quit and do something else. You’ll only get flamed and that’ll be the end of it.
Yet my heart pushes back. Seon-a. You’ve grown a hundred levels. It’s time to try. If you run away saying you can’t, you’ll never be able to. You have to take the chance when it comes. If you don’t do it now, when will this good opportunity ever come again?
Hearing that, my brain retorts again. Running away is better than getting murdered in the kill feed. I’m not ready yet. If I’m going to do it, I need to grow a thousand levels first.
My brain’s cold assessment was fact. Facts hurt the heart, but I have to endure them… still, it hurts. It hurts!! Ugh… What do I do?
In the moment of hesitation… Aha!! It flashed through me. There’s no need to agonize! I grabbed my phone… and called Maru.
“Hello? Maru! Do you have time right now!!?”
Calling Maru was both the best and worst decision. I received over two hours of advice. The good points of the tournament were covered in fifteen minutes… but the bad points took one hour and forty-five minutes. From chat management to team synergy… tournament prep period… she had so much to say… At some point, it stopped registering in my ears.
“Yes… Yes…”
“Do your best! I’ll be cheering for you. When is it?”
“I… I don’t know yet. I was just curious and asked.”
“You should try it at least once. It’ll be fun.”
“Yeah… but you didn’t really give me any good advice.”
A brief silence fell.
“It’s stressful, sure… but if you win, that rush is no joke. That’s why people do it.”
“What if I don’t win?”
“Well… it’ll just be a shame.”
“Aha… That’s it?”
“There are things you only understand by experiencing them. Words can’t explain it. If you work hard, you’ll get good results.”
“Okay, okay… got it.”
My heart, which had been fifty-fifty, gradually tilted toward wanting to try. I ended the call with Maru… and immediately called Pyeongjipja to declare my participation.
“Hello.”
“Pyeongjipja! I want to participate!”
“Ah… You’ve decided?”
“Yep! What do you think will happen if I join?”
“Hmm… I guess I’ll have to cheer really hard?”
“Got it… Anyway, I’m signing up!”
“Understood.”
I drew the sword. If I’ve drawn it, I have to at least cut something with it. That’s the right thing to do, right? I know that too. I know I’m bad at this. I know it could turn into a disaster if I show up. But my heart is telling me to do it. Not everything in this world runs on pure logic, does it…? Yeah. I’m right. I don’t know. Whatever happens, happens…! It’s already done. Stop thinking. The more I think, the more painful it’ll be for me. End. It’s over now.
“Yeah…” I’m doing this because I want to. If you want to eat, you eat. If it’s fun, you do it. If you like it, you like it… What more reason do you need? Yeah! Good job. Seon-a, you did great. You’re always the best.
I turned on the stream with bold confidence.
— You’re late today
— Why so late?
— Haa
— Hi
— 54 minutes late
— Sob sob sob sob sob
— I missed you
— Seonha
“Hello everyone. We’re playing a game today!”
Maybe because I dropped that bombshell right away, the reaction wasn’t great. But turning even this atmosphere around is a streamer’s virtue.
“It’s a collab!”
Even after saying “collab,” the reaction still wasn’t great.
— Ah
— Uh… okay
— So?
— What about it
— Sob sob sob sob sob
— If it’s a collab, you won’t read our chat
— Who with?
“That’s a secret… I’ll tell you later… soon! And… ehehe.”
I almost said I was entering the tournament. That would’ve been a disaster. I covered it up with a laugh. Of course it didn’t work, so I just ignored it.
“Uh… so the game is Wild Hunter. You know, right? The new game… It’s 6v6. A lot of people are probably playing it.”
— ?
— Ah~
— Is this an ad?
—
— Aeu
“It’s not an ad!!”
The moment I said it wasn’t an ad, the tournament topic came up. Seriously, why are there so many sharp-eyed people? Anyway, I desperately explained myself.
This is bad. My stream has already treated my tournament participation as a done deal. I never even said it. How did they know? Did I leak it? No. Even checking the VOD, I didn’t say anything wrong. The problem is these sharp-eyed Jjang-i’s.
“Uh… No, that’s not… Everyone, really, it’s not…”
— Yep
— Yeah
—
— We believe you
— Uh
“So please stop…” I was so flustered I couldn’t even speak properly. I’m not even confirmed yet. I’m not confirmed. So please stop making such a fuss…! If I end up sucking, how embarrassing will that be. So please stop…!
While my head was already hurting, a Discord call came in. It was Moddeok. I covered the screen for a moment.
— Moddeok: 8 o’clock, go go?
— Seon-a: Yep!
— Moddeok: I’ll call you on Discord then~
“…We’re collabing today… at 8.”
“Ah, no!! I don’t know!! I really don’t know!” This is seriously bad. It came out of nowhere, so if I don’t stay sharp I’ll get caught immediately. These people are really clever… I almost spilled everything. I steeled my resolve. I’d underestimated the Jjang-i’s. They’re the type who can put me in an awkward spot at any moment…
“Anyway, let’s play the game!”
I queued up a normal match. Even though it’s a first-person game… to me it’s just a map-clicking game. Press Q. Click on the map with the mouse. Then press E to reload. The ultimate is a barrage of shells. Apparently you just rain shells down everywhere. I brainlessly spammed shells without a single thought.
Ding ding ding. The five-minute notification rang. I glanced at the chat.
— What is this person doing?
— This game is actually hilarious lol
— Feels like watching a pro match ;;
— Are you just gonna do this all day? Can’t you play properly?
“Everyone… isn’t this character really good? It perfectly solves the problem you all keep mentioning… that I don’t look at chat while gaming…”
— Lololol
— Nonsense
— Aeu
— Mind game?
— Yeah
— There’s no fun in watching though
“No fun in watching, huh… Yeah, that’s true.” It’s a fact that there’s no viewing pleasure. It would’ve been nice if I could at least tell whether my shells were hitting or not. I have to check the kill log or press tab to see if cumulative damage went up to know if I’m actually dealing damage. Well, they’ll probably patch that later.
“But at least communication works. That’s a good thing, right?”
—
— Nice
— Then just do low-chat
— I’m a new Wild Hunter player, do you not play other characters?
“I don’t play other characters. Today I’m only grinding this one.” If I played anything else the chat would explode. I’ve experienced that more than once or twice. If I don’t prepare in advance, it’s a real disaster. I’m only confident because this is just point-and-click.
“I’ll keep taking questions. Communication is so smooth with this character.”
I played solo queue and communicated until 7:50. Communication was so easy. It was comfortable. To be honest, I did get some flame in the in-game chat. They asked if I was a macro. What are you doing? You f**king b*tch. Stuff like that… Out of frustration I checked the replay… Did I really do that? The words came out on their own. I really thought it was a macro. My team pushed forward, but my shells kept flying to the exact same spot like the update hadn’t gone through. The opposite was also true—when my team got pushed back and the enemy reached our doorstep, I was still spamming the middle point nonstop.
“I learned something. Check the frontline situation. Shoot shells while watching the situation. Right? I’ve grown, haven’t I? Hehe.”
“There’s no such thing as common sense in this world.”
— Whoa really
— Grinding teeth
— Yep
— This is actual nonsense
— Long time no see?
“It’s not like that…” There really is no such thing as common sense… Common sense is born from someone’s ignorance. I really didn’t know, and now I do. This is the problem with veterans. They think what they know is obviously known by everyone else too. That’s not true at all. They don’t consider newbies like me. It makes me feel hurt… Huh? That?! Ah!! That thing!! This is bad…!!
Suddenly Maru’s advice came to mind! ‘Mysterious new accounts start flaming out of nowhere.’ So this is what it feels like! I get it now. This is how it happens, right? Oho. This is a good situation. Yeah. This is an opportunity. Let’s build up resistance in advance. Let’s think of it as getting a preventive shot. I should let the flaming run wild. Yeah. I’d rather grow by taking flame from the Jjang-i’s. They’re a hundred, no, a thousand times better than random anonymous accounts.
“Good job. Yeah. Keep flaming like that. I like it. Clap clap.”
What? Did I do something wrong again?
— I’m sorry
— You messed up
— This
— Sob sob sob sob
“Why are you crying? Everyone did great. Clap your hands. That was good.”
While I was trying to liven things up, why was the chat getting so depressed? I really couldn’t understand. I need to get flamed to grow, don’t I? Hurry up and flame me. I’ll absorb all that flame and grow.
“Do it. Flame me. Good job. You’re doing well. Jjang-i’s, start flaming.”
— You’re really doing this?
— Should we?
— You f**king a**hole, can’t you play properly?
— For real? You’re letting us?
— You sh*t f**k b**ch
— Take off the mask?
— You crazy b*tch
— This stream is scary
“Uh, uh, uh. Mild flavor only.”
It’s not time yet. I’m not ready for the spicy flavor yet.