Religious War — That Hymen's About to Get Pierced (5)

The Delphi missionaries had only just set out for Athens when Helen found herself face-to-face with the Spartan army across an open plain.

"Nike, if you surrender even now, I can still grant you a special pardon."

She fielded more troops than Sparta and still enjoyed the Goddess of War bonus, yet Helen wanted to talk. A coup out of nowhere? Infuriating, of course. But even if she wiped the Spartan army out here, the Greek forces would be carved in half doing it.

Haa. Then I'd never be able to conquer Hannamguk.

Helen put her civilization ahead of her paltry pride. Someday she would flatten Sparta too — but right now, killing the head of Hannamism came first.

Fortunately, Nike seemed just as eager to avoid a head-on fight. Had the size of the Greek host spooked her? The Queen of Sparta ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠laid out terms that, at a glance, looked like a raw deal for her own side.

"I don't wanna fight other Greek bitches either!"

"...I don't know about you, Nike, but I am not a Greek 'bitch.' Let us find common ground before Athena's wrath swallows the world."

"I'll give Helen back every Greek city Sparta's occupied. In exchange, you give me the luxury goods Athens produces."

Nike was only doing what Han Min-guk had told her to do. A good daughter who never questioned an order, never talked back, who followed Daddy's word as meekly as a lamb. She was already buzzing ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠at the thought of getting spoiled rotten all day once the war was over.

"Are you serious about that?"

Helen was the only one left standing there with her mouth open. The only luxury goods Athens produced were marble and wine — just those two. And Nike was offering to hand back every occupied city for that?

You're putting on a calm face, but you must be desperate, Nike.

Helen accepted the terms on the spot. Giving up the luxuries would ding happiness a little, but as the price of reclaiming major cities like Troy and Delphi, it was a perfectly decent trade.

Pfft. Besides, Athens has so many entertainment buildings the citizens will never be unhappy anyway.

Were the rumors true? Did Spartan girls only train their bodies and never bother using their heads? Flushed with triumph, Helen even started looking down on Nike a little.

"Heh. Great. Make sure you send that marble and wine — if you don't, I might just feel like invading again!"

"Spartan women deserve to get drunk on Athenian wine too. I consider this a good deal, Nike."

The talks ended amicably, and Helen did not lose a single Hoplite. As promised, the Spartan army withdrew from every Greek city, and Helen quickly soothed the restless public sentiment the occupation had left behind.

"Wh-what on earth happened here?!"

Even she screamed when she entered Delphi. The great temple stood hollow, not a soul inside, and at the village market there were more people selling goods than buying them. After the Spartan army had passed through, Delphi had become a ghost town.

"Did those barbarians execute every woman in Delphi?"

Helen asked a woman selling olives in the street. The woman paused, wondering who exactly "those barbarians" was supposed to mean, then opened her mouth.

"You mean the Spartan bitches, Lady Helen?"

"Yes. Those disgraceful sluts of Greece."

"Hmm... the occupying army didn't torture us or anything like that. Other than Queen Nike showing up and religious activity going through the roof, nothing really—"

The moment Helen understood what "religious activity" meant, her entire body broke out in goosebumps. She had heard the rumors that Delphi had converted to Hannamism ages ago... but she had never imagined the faith would be this much of a cult.

"Lady Helen, but if you turn the army around now—"

"—No. Go to Athens immediately!"

Apparently everyone from the temple priestesses of Delphi down to the tenant farmers and the blacksmiths had become Hannamism missionaries. Imagining the chaos those insolent sluts would cause flooding into Athens in a mob, Helen completely lost her reason.

"Absolutely not...! Hic. Anything but heretics taking root in a city named after the goddess—"

She had already issued an edict banning religious persecution, so the Delphi missionaries would not become martyrs. That meant there was still hope. If she just reached Athens in time and quietly expelled those fanatic bitches—

"Pussies, everyone."

But by the time Helen arrived, it was already too late. Even from the Parthenon — the great temple that was the very symbol of Athens — the most obscene prayers imaginable were ringing out.

"And now, we shall conclude today's 'Plea' by presenting ourselves naked on all fours before the Great Cock Statue."

At the priestess's incitement, the worshippers actually started taking off their togas. Helen saw it with her own eyes and still could not believe it — no. She refused to believe it.

"Is Athena's grace an afterthought to all of you now...?"

Even as Helen's legs trembled from the shock, the female devotees were busy stripping. The wise women of Athens felt no ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠shame baring themselves before the Great Cock Statue, and they treated folding their discarded clothes neatly and placing them in front of their heads as the most natural thing in the world.

"When you worship Hannam's cock, bow your heads. Strip everything off, and press yourselves so flat that your tits get squashed against the floor!"

The Parthenon's high priestess — a woman who had once worshipped Athena — was saying this insane garbage. Helen could not take it anymore and shouted for them to stop the obscene ritual at once, but nothing changed. A moment later, the female devotees of Athens presented themselves naked on all fours before Hannam's erect Lord Cock.

When that thoroughly Hannam religious rite finally ended, Helen clawed at her own face with her nails. Even she, the hegemon of Greece, had no choice but to admit it now.

The goddess Athena had abandoned her.

Helen could not see the system messages, but as a devout believer she could feel grace in her body. That was just as true when the goddess stripped that grace away.

The sacred power that had enveloped Helen and her legions vanished. The grace of Olympus she had wrung every last drop of faith from her civilization to obtain... she could not feel it at all anymore. Being abandoned was not a pleasant feeling.

"Remove this abomination from the Parthenon this instant!!"

"Ahh, how could you do that to the sacred Lift-and-Pound Statue—"

Helen's army stormed the Parthenon at once. The Hoplite units toppled the enormous statue of Hannam lifting the goddess Athena and pounding her, and they beat the females who had been twerking naked in front of the Great Cock Statue. Once everyone was subdued, they forced the devotees to put their togas back on.

"G-Goddess! I, Helen, have purified the Parthenon, so please return to Ath—"

But not every Athenian citizen wanted their religion back the way Helen did. After no fewer than thirty missionary units had finished preaching their way through the city, the women of Athens now took worshipping Hannam as a given.

The devout Hannam-worshippers slowly piled up grievances.

Athens was already running low on happiness from handing all its luxury goods over to Sparta. Pile religious oppression on top of that, and the city's atmosphere turned downright grim. The recent marble shortage was a problem too. The female devotees' long-planned Cowgirl-Press Hannam statue had fallen through for lack of marble, and a few days later, when Helen put her foot down and declared that taxes would not be wasted, public sentiment exploded.

Having just been burned in Sidon, Helen at least knew rebellions were something to fear. And now that her founded religion had been completely wiped out, she no longer received the doctrine bonus, so her army was not what it used to be either.

"You've all gone insane!! How could you even think of making a statue of the goddess Athena getting her pussy licked by Hannam?!"

Helen knew, and she still had no choice but to take it. She treasured the heavenly Athena who had made her Greece's leader, and Athens, the city named after that goddess, more than her own life.

"Helen, permit Hannam worship! Permit it!!"

"Ugh! Warriors blessed by Athena, execute those heretic bitches immediately!!"

But it was useless. The more she denounced Hannamism, the more stone Great Cock Statues went up all over Athens, and the cult that had grown without a scrap of resistance from Greece's native religion finally turned even Helen's private soldiers into fanatics.

"Lady Helen... if you keep desecrating Hannam like that, my soldiers and I might just ram a spear into your pussy."

"What? Captain, have you abandoned the Goddess of War too?!"

"...Why should I worship a female who can't even move once a cock is in her breeding hole?"

In the end, the situation spiraled beyond anyone's control. Fully half the Greek army turned their backs on Helen for suppressing Hannamism, and she had to hold the rebels off with the remaining half whose loyalty was already suspect. The endlessly uprising commoners were just a bonus.

Helen had now abandoned even her goal of conquering Hannamguk and rooting out the heresy. With an enraged mob and defected soldiers flooding the Parthenon like a tide, she would take anything as long as she could keep her life.

Had a horny demon possessed everyone's heads? Even Helen, who had ruled this great city all this time, could not explain the madness unfolding now. All she could do, barely holding back her tears, was offer a prayer to the heavens.

"Please don't abandon Greece, Goddess Athena...."

But at this rate, Helen's hymen getting pierced by a spear was a foregone conclusion. Even her own bodyguards were starting to defect to the heretics one by one. The only remaining hope was a scenario where the Macedonian army defeated Han Min-guk and then came to save Greece. It was slim... but it wasn't completely impossible, right?

That was what Helen was telling herself when it happened.

One of her bodyguards, who had just converted to Hannamism, shouted it for the whole Parthenon to hear.