A New Siege

"How about trying an attack this time, instead of playing defense?"

"Attack?"

"Yeah. Not the kind of defense where we sit back and stop them from coming in like last time. This time, you charge in with cooking as your weapon and smash everything flat. A full-on siege."

How did he know last time had been a defense match?

His instincts are ridiculous, as always.

With instincts that sharp, I still couldn't figure out how he was stuck as a mid-tier YouTuber.

Either way, I was interested.

"Just hear me out first. It's going to be really fun, I swear."

Hyun-sung's eyes lit up as he pressed on.

As if to prove he'd planned it all in advance, what he laid out was surprisingly concrete.

"The concept for this attack is dojo-breaking."

"Dojo-breaking, huh. That hits the moment I hear it."

The name was good, at least.

"Right. I'll set the board for you. Out there you've got people who lose their minds over anything delicious, picky gourmets famous for their impossible standards, and the ones who pick fights on purpose, right?"

Hyun-sung swallowed hard.

"So I bring those people to you."

"Oh? Keep talking."

"The rest is easy. Once they show up, you shove your cooking down their throats. Go on, try and endure it."

This wasn't a simple mukbang.

This was war. Conquer their tongues and stomachs with my food.

"Script? Staging? None. It's real. You go, you look, and—putting it crudely—you cook whatever the hell you feel like and feed it to them. Until they're screaming that this is insane, they're full, please spare them."

"Sounds fun."

Back in the apocalypse, filling the bellies of starving people and making them submit had been my specialty.

Even the ones thrashing around like animals turned into gentle lambs after a single bite of my cooking.

Well, if they didn't turn into lambs, they just went hungry. Either way, they submitted.

It was pretty interesting. It even brought back old memories for the first time in a while.

"Not bad. But why did you put together a plan like this?"

"Huh?"

"You don't do mukbang. You just nibble your way through restaurant reviews. How'd you end up cooking up something like this?"

"Ahem…"

At my question, Hyun-sung's expression darkened a little.

I'd hit a nerve.

He scratched the back of his head, looking awkward, and gave a bitter little smile.

"You probably don't know this, hyung, but when I first started on YouTube, I blew up doing mukbang."

"Really?"

"Of course. I didn't put my own name on the channel for nothing!"

"I figured that was just because you're an attention hog…"

"Hey, attention hog my—okay, fine, I'm not not an attention hog. Anyway, I put my name on it because I ate well. Early on I really could eat. There wasn't enough food to go around."

"And then?"

"At some point, it just… stopped going down."

Hyun-sung rubbed his solar plexus.

"Forcing myself to eat for the stream. Pretending bad food was delicious."

Even thinking about it seemed to stress him out. He even frowned.

"I think my stomach broke. Or maybe my brain. Eating stopped being fun and just felt like labor. Looking at food made me nauseous."

"Some kind of occupational hazard?"

"Maybe."

A gourmet who'd lost the joy of eating.

As a chef, that was a pretty stimulating kind of patient.

"So I switched to restaurant hunting. And that whole mess in the middle… maybe that was the grudge talking, too. Ah, you can call it an excuse if you want. I know I was wrong."

"We're done with that. Keep going."

"Honestly, I still have regrets. I really love eating. Insanely."

He lifted his head and looked at me.

The playful light was gone from his eyes. Only seriousness remained.

This kid…

The look in them was desperately earnest.

"But your cooking was different, boss. Same as with that life-changing ramen last time—when I eat here, my stomach feels fine."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. No extra heaviness, and more than anything… my heart starts racing again."

Hyun-sung clenched his fist tight.

"So I want to try being brave, just once. With your cooking, I think I can eat like a maniac again, joyfully, the way I used to. Please take back the stomach I lost, hyung-nim. Pretty funny, right?"

"It's not funny, you idiot."

A kind of rehabilitation. Self-healing dressed up as dojo-breaking.

You beat the other person into submission with food, and that ends up being the path that saves them.

Hmm.

This wasn't just a simple TV appearance.

It was treatment.

Feeding the hungry. That had been my calling in my past life and my joy in this one, hadn't it?

This is seriously tempting. Does this guy have talent as a planner, too?

And that look in his eyes.

He meant it. This wasn't some cheap stunt to milk a few views.

It was a hand held out because he genuinely wanted to live, wanted to eat.

That was when it happened.

An unexpected response came back.

The system reacted.

Ding!

As expected. Had the system read my mind too? The rewards were solid as well.

Perfect, except for that last bit. I like everything else just fine.

With this, there was no reason to refuse.

"All right."

I set the dish towel down with a sharp snap and grinned.

"Let's do it. That dojo-breaking."

"F-for real?"

Color flooded back into Hyun-sung's face.

"Yeah. But I've got conditions."

"What are they? Just say the word! Revenue split? Or an appearance fee up front?"

"Forget the money. Since it's dojo-breaking, I decide the menu. Completely."

"Ah, that's exactly what I wanted!"

"Good. Then no complaining about the food. And one more thing."

"Yes?"

"Leave any, and you die. Food is sacred."

At my words, Hyun-sung burst out laughing.

"Pwahaha! Ah, of course! I'll eat like my life depends on it. No—I'll eat to stay alive!"

Life sparked back into his eyes.

Yeah. Eating is living.

Apocalypse Survival Rule Number One: eat well, or die.

Even in this peaceful world, that rule still held.

"Then let's get ready right away. Who's the first target?"

"Ah, for now number one is me. Number two will come in one go, too."

"Whoa. Number two in one shot?"

"Honestly I'm a little scared myself. If we don't want leftovers, we've got to bring in the big eaters. Why? Chicken?"

"Me? Bring as many as you want."

"Haha. You'll regret it?"

"Regret, my ass."

"Great. I've got people in mind! Number two, number three—maybe even more?"

"Sure. Go as hard as you want."

A new hunting ground had opened.

A real mukbang hunting ground.

"This is going to be fun."

For me, it was more than satisfying.

"Heh heh heh…"

KBN Variety Division conference room.

Ga PD hummed a leisurely little tune, satisfaction written all over his face.

Of course it was.

When should I lock this in? Maybe throw a little variation into the concept?

Among every self-employed business owner in Korea, there was not a single person who would refuse his pitch.

Success was a guaranteed constant.

The only variable was the filming schedule.

The moment assistant director Min-su walked in, Ga PD asked,

"You're back?"

"Yes. Just got in."

"So, when did you set the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠meeting?"

But the answer that came back was nothing like what he'd expected.

"Uh… PD-nim."

Assistant director Park Min-su's face was the color of dirt.

What? Is he sick or something? Did they ask to push it back?

By now Ga PD had a gut feeling something had gone wrong.

He had to hear it first.

"We got rejected."

"…What?"

Ga PD's hand froze in midair. Had he misheard?

"Who rejected who?"

"He said he's not interested in broadcasting, he won't do it. He was extremely firm about it."

Ha. A hollow laugh slipped out.

The great Ga PD, turned away at the door?

"You didn't say it was me, right?"

"…No. You told me not to."

"But you dropped the vibe, right? You're good at that kind of thing."

"Yes. I did. That a lead PD was starting a new program."

"Ha… and he still rejected it?"

"…Yes. He barely even listened."

A self-employed owner who fretted over a single day's sales had kicked a golden goose that had rolled right to his doorstep.

A scratch on his pride?

No, this was different. Something had poked his instincts awake.

Oh, is that how it is?

Well, nothing fun was ever easy.

There had to be some resistance before you got the satisfaction of breaking it.

Ga PD's eyes gleamed.

"Min-su."

"Yes."

"Go back and bring him no matter what."

"What? From what I saw earlier, nothing was getting through… he wouldn't bite at all."

"Go beg. Pitch a tent in front of the shop. Buy out his entire sales for the day. Whatever."

Means and methods? Those didn't matter.

To a broadcast person, rejection was only the starting signal for another recruitment attempt.

"Get him sitting in front of me somehow. Or your desk is gone."

It was a declaration of war.

A few days after persuading Kim Sunwu, Lee Hyun-sung moved with fierce energy in his studio.

I'm going to blow this one up!

Unable to hide his excitement, he bounced his leg and burned through call after call.

"Hey, hyung. It's me. I landed something huge this time."

"No, not that. This time, we're the ones on defense."

"Yeah. Aren't you sick of going to bad places and forcing a smile through reviews? This time a real chef is going to completely destroy our tongues and stomachs."

The ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠lukewarm voice on the other end of the line gradually shifted.

"You saw my video before, right? The Ramenkase boss at the Factory Restaurant."

"I talked him into it. Hyung, this is guaranteed to blow up. I set the whole board. All you have to do is put a spoon in."

Hyun-sung talked him into it with spit flying.

The other party was a mukbang YouTuber with five hundred thousand subscribers: GluttonTV.

At ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠first he'd been half-skeptical, but the name "Ramenkase" and the "unlimited assault" concept finally reeled him in.

"Tch. I was hoping we could go right away."

Look at that. Second?

"You're just testing the waters, aren't you?"

From the voice alone, he was definitely testing the waters.

Man, that's a shame. Tch… people keep inching backward little by little.

This wasn't even the first time someone had wanted to test the waters.

Everyone liked the concept, but no one wanted to be the first one out.

Maybe that was why.

Over the past few days, recruitment had only been half successful.

Everyone agreed—then scrambled to duck out the back.

Which meant he still hadn't found anyone to go as number one.

"Tch. You were originally supposed to come with me and film the first one. That's a real shame."

"Call for now!"

Hyun-sung hung up and clenched his fist tight.

Testing the waters is a little annoying, but I still locked down one recruitment, right?

Five hundred thousand was still a major YouTuber.

Securing that meant he could call it halfway done.

If it really doesn't work out, I can just ask to shift the schedule a bit. Or go first on my own if I have to.

Hyun-sung wanted to grow the board with real ambition.

I've got to show them properly. Stuff even the network guys can't pull off.

That was when it happened.

Bzzzt— bzzzt—.

The smartphone on the desk vibrated noisily.

When Hyun-sung checked the caller name, his eyes went wide.