Down with Heok-roro (1)
A cafe near my place.
I ordered the cheapest Americano on the menu and was currently unloading my grievances on SolidHeavy.
"This is bullshit. This is straight-up, absolute bullshit."
My lips trembled around the straw. The humiliation Pororo had inflicted on me the day before still burned just as hot, even after a full night's sleep. This body that had finally clawed its way up to Iron 4, getting wrecked by a support of all things…
"Urrrgh…!"
How the hell was I supposed to cool this rage?
"This ice is fucking useless."
I paid a whole 1,500 won for this coffee and they crammed it full of ice? Robbery. I ordered an Americano, not a cup of frozen water.
—Crunch.
I savagely chewed the ice to pieces. I was in full berserk mode right now. Even a headbutting dinosaur would've taken one look and politely bowed out.
"…ADC-nim. Please calm down. You're going to crack a tooth."
"Impossible. There is no calming this fury."
"Is that so? Implants are pretty expensive these days…"
"…"
Fuck.
I was so broke I couldn't even throw a proper tantrum!!!!
Terrified of the dental bill, I furiously chugged the Americano instead and roared,
"Does this look calm to you?! That Hyeji bastard! Me! Five losses in a row! To him!"
I slammed the table. The students studying around us shot me dirty looks.
I glared right back, of course. Those freeloaders had ordered a single Americano each and then hogged every outlet in the place, so they weren't exactly big spenders either… the owner was probably cheering me on for trying to drive them out.
"Shh, shh…"
SolidHeavy pressed a finger to his lips, signaling me to keep it down. Classic chicken-shit, always worried about what other people thought.
"I tried to tell you during our jog yesterday, didn't I? That I had important intel."
"Yeah, you did."
"But ADC-nim brushed me off with 'Why the hell would I care about some Iron sniper?' and stormed off."
"…Hmph."
He wasn't wrong. I'd skimmed the video once and headed straight home. Why should I have to listen to stories about an idiot like that? Just looking at him made me feel secondhand embarrassment.
"Shut up. That was then, this is now. Finish what you were gonna say yesterday. That's why I bought you coffee as an info fee."
Across from me, SolidHeavy also had nothing but a single Americano. For the record, I'd paid for it. The guy was my junior, and even if I was older, I couldn't just keep taking free stuff. I might be broke, but I still had pride.
"You ordered the cheapest Americano on the menu and now…"
"Aigoo."
A grown man whining about his drink was seriously pathetic.
"Fine, I'll order again! What do you want?"
SolidHeavy tapped his index fingers together, pretending to think hard, then carefully opened his mouth.
"I… would like the strawberry parfait I saw when we walked in…"
"Fuck!"
That didn't suit him at all!
"Hold on. Didn't you say you work out? That thing looks insanely sweet. You sure you can eat it?"
—Nod nod.
"This is exactly why I work out."
Ugh. No choice. I started tapping the kiosk to add a strawberry parfait. It was listed under the premium menu, and the price was…
"Ridiculously expensive."
"Well, yeah. Lots of ingredients go into it."
"No way…"
"Ah, then I'll pay for it myself…"
"Don't get cocky, brat. Just drink your Americano."
Sorry. Your hyung's broke. But still wants to flex his pride.
"…My lips are starting to seal shut."
…!
"Fuck! I'll add cereal and heart-shaped stick cookies as toppings! Happy now?! Huh?!"
SolidHeavy dug into the strawberry parfait with a spoon and finally started talking.
"ADC-nim. In Asgard, there exist realms we dare not even approach. Among them is the Golden Realm."
"Golden?"
"Yes. Simply put, Gold. They are beings whose very bloodlines differ from us Iron trash."
Gold.
If Challenger was national-level power, then Gold was at least the neighborhood chief. It might sound like nothing special on the surface.
But the gap between them and Iron was heaven and earth. No exaggeration.
Even Bronze had been a terror to us not long ago. Gold was a full-blown ecosystem destroyer. The reverence creeping into SolidHeavy's voice made perfect sense.
"Pororo, that streamer—he actually stepped into the Golden Realm in the past."
"What, that Hyeji?!"
I couldn't believe it.
"Yes. The difference is he wasn't a support back then—he was a top laner. His nickname in those days was the Axe Murderer."
The Axe Murderer…!
"In the past, Pororo loved mercilessly chopping people down with axes. Then, early in his streaming career, he suddenly switched roles. Said something about how 'slaughtering enemies coldly doesn't suit me as much as warmly caring for my allies'…"
…So the current Pororo had gone from Virgin Mary back to Axe Murderer?
"Hooo."
I got the gist. But one question still nagged at me.
"How the hell do you know all that?"
He said early career, right? The guy must've been a total no-name. How did SolidHeavy know?
"You're not a real cop. You're just a stalker, aren't you?"
Highly suspicious.
"No…. I just thoroughly research anything related to Asgard. You know what they say—know your enemy and know yourself, and you'll never lose a hundred battles."
"Fine, whatever. So you're an info junkie."
Info junkies usually had dogshit mechanical skill. SolidHeavy was textbook.
"Anyway, if Pororo has returned as the Axe Murderer, the situation is serious. His old Gold-level mechanics will slowly come back too. In that case, ADC-nim's climb…"
"Is impossible."
Basically telling me to rot in Iron forever.
"But it's not like there's no way. I prepared the intel in advance, knowing this might happen. I've mapped out everything from item builds to skill order, so you don't need to worry."
"Ohhh."
For once SolidHeavy actually looked useful.
"Please take a look at this."
"Mm-hmm."
"So here, you take these runes and this item tree…"
I listened diligently to SolidHeavy's explanation.
And then—
"This actually sounds solid…!"
With this, I could completely dumpster Pororo, right?
A warrior in a Viking helmet clashed with a half-naked violet demon in the jungle.
Their duel continued even after the other eight heroes had fallen. They swung axes and fired arrows in every direction, fighting to decide the final survivor.
—Clang! Clang!
Nike backdashed and loosed arrows. The random volleys occasionally clipped Valgus, but it was nowhere near enough. The growth gap, combined with the Viking helmet and armor, made every shot bounce harmlessly off.
But Nike had expected that. The violet demon weaved expertly between the jungle trees, raining arrows on Valgus one after another.
—Clang!
She climbed trees to shoot, used traps from her runes to snare his feet. Attacks that fully exploited Nike's mobility and Valgus's sluggish walking speed.
The setup shattered in an instant.
—Kuaaaaaah!
A shockwave erupted from Valgus's body, shaking the air itself. The ground rumbled; the trees trembled violently.
Nike, who had just planted a foot on a branch, lost her balance and tumbled to the forest floor.
In that split second, bloodshot-eyed Valgus charged, making the earth quake with every step.
—Kuaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!
Drrrrrk! The sight of him dragging a massive axe along the ground as he sprinted was pure nightmare fuel.
Sprawled on the ground, Nike hurriedly fired. The sharp arrows buried themselves in his collarbone and cleanly pierced his thigh, but Valgus never slowed. He brought the axe down mercilessly on Nike's crown.
What followed was pure, unbridled thrashing. A savage combo that looked determined to return the arrows tenfold.
—Thud thud thud!
BlackenedPororo (Valgus) has slain HungADC (Nike)!
"Kuaaaaaaargh!"
That made four.
I'd been completely shredded four times in a row without even putting up a fight.
SolidHeavy's advice had been worthless. The guide itself was fine, but the skill gap was so massive that the guide might as well not have existed. The Pororo who had become the Axe Murderer… no, Heok-roro… was a completely different person from before.
The chat and donations flooding in nonstop…!
All of them united as one in their mission to torture me…!