Debt-Hounding Iron Streamer (3): Something's Off
I'd definitely just been trying to play the game normally. In fact, I was peacefully farming CS and holding my lane without bothering the other players at all.
So why...
Why the hell did it end up like this?
My character Nike started thrusting her hips back and forth like crazy. This was the dance emote you get by spamming Ctrl+4. Right now, I had her glued right behind Simhae Cheongsobu's Tiaris, hammering away at it nonstop.
-Hup hup hup hup!
It was so fast it left afterimages. My signature killer move: the Lanscape Copulation Press.
But today's Lanscape Copulation was a little different. Shockingly, I was repeating the chat messages out loud through my mic.
"Urrut! Urrut! Urrut! Uryaaaah!!!!!!"
Of course, I wasn't crazy. There was a deep story behind this. First off, this slutty netkama Simhae Cheongsobu had slyly tempted me into doing it again today. And second...
Urimidopenham has registered a mission! Amount: 50,000 won
Mission: Give Simhae Cheongsobu the usual full-throttle treatment (repeat chat via mic too)
This goddamn mission.
But I couldn't refuse. I was still scavenging convenience store discards, scraping by where every penny counted. Plus, my creditor Simhae Cheongsobu was wagging her tail and tempting me—how could I say no? So I accepted right away.
-Tap tap tap.
I typed into chat.
I yelled it loud into the mic again. My throat was killing me, but I couldn't stop. Honestly, it was easier than hauling bricks on a day-labor site.
"What! Lame?!"
"Y-you bitch!!! Dare mock my technique? Take this! My speed—five thrusts per second!"
-Tap tap tap tap!
I hammered Ctrl+4 even harder. Nike's hips on screen were moving so fast, not even afterimages showed.
"Uryaaaah! How's that! I'll make you fall with this female corruption thrust!"
The bastard just laughed off my furious courtship.
And then.
I wiped sweat amid the flood of condemnation and cheers.
50,000 won, baby. You think that's easy money anywhere else?
A twinge of self-loathing hit me, but no real damage. Without the mic, this was my everyday shit anyway. Getting paid for it? I welcomed it with open arms.
Top was TapgolParkChairman. His champ was Anut. The more minions he ate, the more stacks he built—a late-game monster compared to others. That's why he farmed patiently, earning the "farmer champ" nickname.
He was muttering while farming leisurely.
Another familiar name.
'Said he'd quit after seeing us last time, and here he is again.'
Over half the people who swear off Asgard come crawling back. Spot on.
Nope. Call it what it is.
Supports need a beating every three days, as the saying goes.
Then Naejeonggeulsunok, who was jungling, sent his character back to base.
Naejeonggeulsunok has left the game.
The system message confirmed he really dipped.
Quitting again right after returning... I sighed at the guy's weak resolve.
"Was gonna quit anyway."
In my book, even without meeting us, he'd have lasted three days tops.
*
Morning stream ended.
I stretched, got up, changed into sweats, and grabbed my sorted recyclables.
Sorting sucks...
Today was sorting day. I trudged to the bins and dumped it all. Hadn't done it properly in ages, so it was a lot—but still single-person load. Finished, dusted my hands, and sighed.
Mission complete.
Time for a reward after the hard labor.
I headed straight to the convenience store.
Gotta recharge blood sugar first.
Moments later, Choco Mong in hand.
This level of luxury was fine for today's me. Got abused in a 50,000-won mission from morning—no reward and I'd lose motivation. Whip and carrot, right ratio for long runs.
-Slurp.
"Ahh, finally alive."
Sucking happily on my Choco Mong, passing the first-floor entrance and climbing stairs.
-Thud!
"...?"
Sudden loud bang somewhere. Sounded like slamming something down. As I froze, another slam from elsewhere, plus an enraged old-man roar.
"What the fuck, you dogshit! Why gank there!!!"
Room 201.
-Thud! Thud! Thud!
"Mid diff you fuck!!! Agh fuck what’s our mid doingggg!!!"
Room 203. Desk slams echoed like shotgun blasts down the hall.
"Fuck, you mom-fucked bitch blaming me! Wanna grind your skull on asphalt!?"
Even higher floor.
"...."
What the. It was still morning, not even lunchtime. Normal salarymen'd be working, students studying.
But this one-room village was different. Tenants here rose at dawn, glued to monitors, checking mom texts, smashing desks to start the day.
"Mm..."
Straw in mouth, I grinned contentedly.
God game indeed.
Top simultaneous users. Unshakable PC bang king. National game every Korean from kid to granny plays: Asgard.
My one-room was full of comrades charging the Asgard frontlines.
Truly peaceful, vibrant morning scene.
-Crash clang!
"Agh fucker, gonna throw~~"
Chair topple somewhere, followed by curses. I slurped the last of my Choco Mong, shaking my head.
Seriously a disease game.
No urge to complain though. I was no different from them. Punching in my door lock code with that thought.
Gotta hop into ranked quick.
*
"Folks, today I brought new content."
Fired up Notepad, clacked keys.
Pro Ironer Geogeun Wondil's Iron Psychology Counseling & Confession Booth
"Called 'I absolve thee of thy sins' content."
"Entry fee's 5,000 won, FYI."
"Or three Choco Mongs."
Everyone suddenly so nice.
...Hm.
"On second thought, back to 5,000 won."