Chapter 136
Chapter 136
Translator: Penny
Chapter 136
PT Exercise #8: Full-Body Twist.
This was the punishment we received in gym class for the slightest fidgeting or whispering, accompanied by the teacher's furious shouts: "You damn disobedient bastards!"
The image of our tiger-like gym teacher, who carried a bat and claimed we wouldn't understand words, flashed through my mind.
Compared to the Assistant Instructor, the bat-wielding gym teacher was far more terrifying, but when it came to sheer intensity, military Ranger Training was the undisputed champion.
With only one gym teacher, it was possible to avoid his gaze and slack off a bit. But with multiple Assistant Instructors, escaping their watchful eyes was nearly impossible.
Trembling, I lowered my leg in time with the whistle when my eyes met a familiar face. I blinked, wondering if I was seeing things.
Why are you here...?
The guy wearing the assistant instructor's cap was unmistakably my high school friend, Kim Woochan.
What were the odds of running into my friend as an assistant instructor while filming a military variety show?
Even if the sky falls, there's always a way out, they say. I winked at him, noticing his nostrils flaring as he struggled to suppress a laugh.
I believe in you, buddy!
As I subtly lowered my head, his twitching lips immediately erupted into a sharp command:
"227, Owl! Head up! Legs down!"
"Sir!"
I reflexively snapped to attention, reluctantly resuming the proper military posture.
You bastard! I even bought you drinks to celebrate your leave, and you repay me like this? Just wait until my next leave!
After completing PT Exercises up to number 14, we were given a ten-minute break.
Of course, I didn't get to rest. I was called over to the camera for a personal interview. What's the point of broadcasting if it means I can't even enjoy this precious break?
"You seemed to know one of the Assistant Instructors. Are you friends?"
"He's a high school friend. I never expected to run into him here..."
"Have you seen him since graduating high school?"
"Not exactly. We met a few months ago when he was on leave."
It was the same friend who had taken leave a few months earlier, and we'd had a blast together during our overlapping vacation periods.
Kim Woochan, who had also been called for an interview, burst into laughter the moment he saw me after finishing his interview, clutching his stomach.
"Hey, I heard you only had eight years left! When I saw your face, I nearly had a heart attack thinking you'd enlisted to escape some trouble. Seriously!"
"Yeah, tell me about it... What kind of hell is this?"
"Are you a regular on this show?"
"No, just filling in for this one episode."
"Damn, what are you gonna do? Now you'll be known as the guy who ran away from Ranger Training because it was too tough. Pfft, Yoon Eden, the mighty!"
I gaped at his unexpected perspective.
"Work hard and become the Ranger King. Then you won't just silence the rumors—you'll become a legend. But if you try to cut corners like you did earlier, you'll end up a washed-up loser who couldn't handle it and ran away."
"What kind of..."
"Just trust me and do as I say. You'll understand soon enough."
Kim Woochan, after giving me a vigorous pat on the back as if to encourage me, immediately switched into Assistant Instructor mode as soon as the ten-minute break ended, shoving me forward.
Next up was Ranger Training. I gritted my teeth and threw myself into the exercises, mentally chanting "Ranger King" to myself. I was grateful I'd built up my stamina through regular workouts beforehand.
Otherwise, I would have collapsed long ago, lost my grip on the ropes and plunged into the muddy water, or tumbled to the ground while scaling the wall.
As soon as the cameras were off, the panelists, unlike the still-disciplined soldiers, gathered in one spot and sprawled out comfortably. After all, this was still a variety show.
"Aiyo, I'm dying. What kind of suffering is this, being dragged back to the military at my age?"
A middle-aged actor in his forties patted his shoulder and groaned. Beside him, a broadcaster in his late thirties nodded in fervent agreement.
A comedian in his mid-thirties nudged me and asked, "Eden, how old are you this year?"
"Twenty-two, sir."
"Twenty-two? Who uses 'sir' in the army?"
"You didn't even give your rank and name?"
Fuck, the camera's off!
"Private Yoon Eden! Twenty-two, sir!"
But I was the youngest member, and sadly, I had to do as I was told. After I gave my rank and name and repeated my answer, the broadcaster chuckled, patted my shoulder, and said, "You came at just the right time. Even if it's only for five nights and six days."
"Youth is really something. You're so full of energy, it's amazing."
"Seriously, you're really good. Did you debut after doing sports? Or after finishing your military service?"
"Come on, Hyung. What kind of idol finishes military service? These days, all the idols debut after they're over thirty."
"No, I debuted after doing hip-hop."
"Hey, hey, relax. Relax. I was just joking around."
The comedian who had demanded my rank and name with a straight face chuckled, patted me on the back a couple of times, and offered some advice:
"Take it easy. It's just a variety show. If you get injured here, your career will be in trouble."
But I had a reason to win the title of Ranger King and return. I couldn't afford the disgrace of dropping out due to exhaustion.
As the Ministry of National Defense's clock continued ticking, the final day of Ranger Training dawned.
Ah, wait, by my standards, is that the broadcasting station's clock?
After starting our morning with some invigorating PT exercises, we were confronted with an 11-meter-tall mock tower—the height humans fear most. It was time for rappelling training.
As we climbed to the top, a breathtaking panoramic view unfolded before us. I was grateful I'd tried bungee jumping before the regression; that experience, at the highest jump site in the country, was nothing compared to this.
"Do you have a girlfriend?!"
"No!"
Woochan, why would you ask your idol friend if he has a girlfriend?
If he said yes here, it would trigger another regression. Not that he actually has one, of course.
"Shout what you want to say, then descend!"
"Why did I even agree to come here?! Oh wait, that's not it. Daydream, I love you! Aaaah! Descend!"
After blurting out his true feelings, he belatedly snapped back into his idol persona.
The last glimpse he caught of Kim Woochan before descending showed him desperately suppressing a smile.
"227, Owl, descent complete!"
He reported, gripping the rope as he slid down and landed lightly on the mattress.
"Hey, not bad. Eden, have you considered joining us full-time? You're too good to be just a substitute."
The compliment suggested he'd executed the descent well. Of course, he had no intention of joining full-time.
The only remaining challenge was CBRN Training.
"I'm not feeling well and won't be able to participate in CBRN Training. Permission to abstain, sir."
He instinctively raised his hand at the instructor's words, then quickly forced it back down. Raising his hand here would send his Ranger King title soaring into the sky.
As we trudged into the building wearing gas masks, our faces grim, we were greeted by thick clouds of CS gas. And then...
"Detach filters!"
With the instructor's command, the first hell I'd ever experienced descended upon us. Even in the midst of this, the instructor ordered us to sing.
"Recite 'A Mother's Heart'! Begin!"
What was 'A Mother's Heart' again...? I vaguely followed the melody of the person next to me, but as the song grew increasingly bizarre, I held my breath and blinked rapidly.
"Ah, thank you for your teacher's love... Huh?"
"I told you to sing 'A Mother's Heart'! Who told you to sing 'Teacher's Love'? Again! Recite 'Real Man'! Begin!"
Another unfamiliar song. At least my mother had recognized A Mother's Heart when she heard the melody, even if her memory was hazy. But this one? I had no clue.
"Born a man, with so much to do!"
Blinking through my vision, which was turning yellow, I cautiously joined in the military song, glancing around to see if I was singing it right.
Each breath I took brought in more CS gas, making me feel like I was truly dying. It was only thanks to my rapper's lung capacity that I could hold my breath long enough to survive.
As soon as I stumbled outside, I collapsed to the ground, tears and snot streaming down my face. Even in that state, I desperately turned my back to avoid the cameras. I couldn't let this face be broadcast.
Time passed, and finally, the day I had been waiting for arrived: the Ranger Training graduation ceremony.
"Ranger King, Private Yoon Eden!"
As my name was called, I clenched my fist and strode confidently to the podium.
Yes! I've avoided the disgrace of being known as the guy who bailed after just one day of Ranger Training!
I accepted the award certificate, placed the red Ranger Assistant Instructor's cap on my head, and returned to my seat.
After completing the final return march, the Ranger Training concluded, and filming wrapped up simultaneously.
"Thank you for your hard work!"
I bowed deeply to the PD, staff, and fellow cast members before sprinting toward Manager Hyung, who was waving me over.
Let's not see each other for the next eight years! As a final touch, I slipped my hand into my pocket and discreetly flipped him the middle finger.
Forbidden action detected.
Original Intent Score -1
Can't you just let it slide if I don't get caught?
Finally, after six days and five nights of filming at the military base, I arrived at the dormitory I had missed so much.
"Eden, are you crying...?" Manager Hyung asked cautiously, rolling down the car window as I stood frozen in front of the dormitory.
"Who's crying?" I retorted, roughly wiping my dry eyes and striding forward. After entering the door lock code and opening the dormitory door, the gazes of the members, who were in the middle of their meal, turned to me.
"What's this? Why are you back so early? I was enjoying the single room," Seo Yehyeon grumbled, sounding like an older brother whose younger brother had returned from military service and was taking back his room.
Other groups market themselves as warm, pseudo-families. Why are we like this?
It sounded exactly like what my friends with older brothers used to say.
"You wouldn't be complaining about how fast six days went by if you'd gone to the army and done Ranger Training."
I grumbled as I scooped rice into my bowl and plopped down in a chair at the dining table. Seo Yehyeon shook his head.
"Anyone would think you'd already finished your full military service."
Yeah, Seo Yehyeon should have gone instead. Then he might have realized how precious our group activities are and come back with his head on straight, just like me.
I took a heaping spoonful of Gyeon Hajun's side dishes, which tasted like they hadn't been eaten in ages. Seo Yehyeon glanced at my emotional expression and asked, "Did you starve in the army?"
"The army food was fucking awful."
Detected vulgar language.
Original Intent Score -2
There's just no way to express this without using vulgar language.
I was finishing my meal and gulping down a bottle of water from the fridge when Ryu Jaehee scurried over, holding up his phone to show me a news article.
"Hyung, weren't you close to Producer G1? It was a total shitshow while you were in the army. They busted a bunch of drug dealers at a club during his birthday party."
So it finally happened, I thought, clicking my tongue as I finished my water. Ryu Jaehee added, "But get this—the informant was G1 himself."
I choked on my water, coughing violently as I scrambled for my phone.
Holy shit! If I'd known this was going down, I would've skipped that army variety show and gone to the birthday party instead! What a fucking goldmine of content I missed out on!
📝 Translator’s Note:
You may notice that certain lines or phrases in this novel appear both in their original Korean (or Hanja) form and in English translation.
This is intentional — these phrases are classical idioms, divine titles, or poetic expressions that carry layered meanings.
To preserve their original tone and authenticity, the raw text has been kept for reference, while the English interpretation is provided right before or after it. This helps convey both the literal and cultural nuance of the original work.
but if you guys dont want tha raw for future chapters or my future other novels u can just text me on discord and say so discord name Mr.Penny