Lu Bu Can't Be Stopped (3)
"Uhahat!! Look at this!! Isn't it badass?!"
Zhang Fei laughed as he held up the helmet.
Flash.
The helmet gleamed in the sunlight, drawing everyone's attention.
"No, that's…."
It was a rare item from the game: Zhang Hong's Golden Helmet.
The golden helmet that Zhang Hong always wore. Thanks to it, he had quite the standout appearance. Mention Zhang Hong, and the first thing that came to mind was that golden helmet.
The helmet's ability was pretty ingenious.
[Mobility increases when retreating in a disadvantageous situation.]
When your health was critically low or it looked like certain death to anyone watching, your movement speed and your subordinate troops' speed skyrocketed.
It was somewhat historically accurate. It reflected Zhang Hong's impressive record of successful retreats from Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
A simple effect: all motions, including movement speed, accelerated.
'But it's kinda niche.' If this were a full-on tactical sim, it'd have a clear use case, but this game was ultimately an action RPG. If it turned into a losing battle of attrition, you were better off not engaging in the first place. And rather than pulling off intricate retreat maneuvers, it was easier to just dodge and counter.
But the item's cult following came from its acquisition difficulty.
'Killing Zhang Hong turns it into the Polluted Golden Helmet.' You could loot everything by killing, but not this helmet. Killing him made it a polluted version—a normal junk item.
[Zhang Hong's pride, stained with blood, crumpled and defiled. Melt it down for decent coin... but you can't restore his lost honor.]
No retreat mobility boost or anything like that. To get the pristine Golden Helmet, you had to let Zhang Hong live and rout him, then pick up the helm.
The key was hearing his signature line: "Damn… setbacks make a man grow.!" That triggered it properly.
'No way. He got that?' It had plenty of value as a collector's item, and he'd snagged it just like that.
"Whaddya think?! Kim!! Suits me, right?!" Zhang Fei grinned and plopped the helmet on his head.
Flash.
Zhang Fei's whole face lit up. Oh. It had some swagger... nah, not really. Too flashy—kinda weird.
"Kuhahat!! How's it look?!" Zhang Fei posed proudly, shoving his face in mine. Dude, back off. It's blinding.
"Like dumplings on a golden platter."
I gave my honest take on Zhang Fei in the helmet. Kid had chubby cheeks, so it kinda evoked meat dumplings.
"Kkiyaaaak!!! Kim!!!! Come at me!!!"
Zhang Fei charged at me like a maniac, helmet and all.
"Uhahat!!"
It took me back to our childhood games of tag.
But that youthful bliss didn't last. Adults had to face adult burdens.
"Gaga." "Kim."
Bu Yong-hwa and Guan Yu had arrived, eyeing the standoffish Dong Zhuo—er, Mok Lan—with tentative expressions.
"This must be Lady Mok Ran." "Hmm... she looks familiar."
Bu Yong-hwa and Guan Yu stared hard at Dong Zhuo.
"Uh…."
Was she busted? I felt a chill at the terror of women's intuition.
"Gaga. You sent all the other soldiers away and had a private chat with Lady Mok Ran? Don't tell me... you're taking another concubine?"
Yong-hwa's face darkened wickedly.
"Seriously... Kim. A man needs self-control."
Guan Yu didn't seem thrilled either.
They sensed something off, but jealousy as women overrode suspicion.
"No, I heard footsteps chasing us, so I sent the soldiers to safety first."
I explained, hyping up the matchup with Xiahou Dun and Xiahou Yuan to epic levels. How Dong Zhuo and I teamed up to rout the pair—a nail-biter of a victory.
"Oho... routing Cao Cao's fierce generals Xiahou Dun and Xiahou Yuan. Impressive!"
Liu Bei 's eyes sparkled with admiration.
"A warrior skilled enough to sync with our own champion Kim. Remarkable!"
Liu Bei shot Mok Lan (Dong Zhuo) a gaze full of admiration.
Shit. Liu Bei's talent radar was pinging. Problem was the contents—Dong Zhuo. Plus, Mok Lan was a wandering ronin, unaffiliated.
Before she shopped for better gigs, he'd fast-track her into the shitshow that was Yu Bi Company. Terrifying.
'Can't exactly say it's Dong Zhuo.' Bigger issue: Dong Zhuo showing up in Xuzhou was a massive time bomb for us.
The court, obsessed with killing her, would send armies. Getting caught in that would doom Liu Bei's forces. And now Lü Bu controlled the court—perfect excuse to invade. Yuan Shu, Cao Cao, other warlords eyeing Xuzhou? Dong Zhuo chatter would be Liu Bei's weakness.
'Since we couldn't kill her, keep it secret.' I vowed that inwardly, desperately signaling Dong Zhuo with my eyes.
"Make yourself at home here!!"
Liu Bei clapped Dong Zhuo's shoulder with a smile. He already sensed destiny in her.
"A... alright."
Dong Zhuo replied awkwardly, then stuck close to me. I was the familiar face who knew the score.
"…."
Bu Yong-hwa and Guan Yu glared uncomfortably.
Life had just gotten way more complicated.
"Kim Gong!! You're safe!!"
Then Zhao Yun approached with his golden retriever smile, warm and fuzzy. He'd rolled hard—his armor caked in dust and dirt.
Zhao Yun, glad to see you, but read the room.
"Spar today too!"
Even after a full day of battle, Zhao Yun looked fresh, twirling his spear into stance.
"Sure."
With so much on my mind, moving my body might clear the clutter.
Meanwhile.
Lu Bu had assembled her army, arrayed before Chang'an's gates.
"Ooh... General Fengxian. What mighty splendor."
Wang Yun gazed at Lu Bu with trembling eyes.
"Hm."
Lu Bu ignored the flattery.
Hero when ousting Dong Zhuo, but the court's ministers hadn't really changed.
Just swapped who held the sword.
'Cowards.' Not warriors, clinging to an obsolete order like idiots.
'Seven Star Sword.' Mood soured by the losers, Lu Bu steadied herself touching the Seven Star Sword at her waist.
Why Lu Bu ousted Dong Zhuo? Simple: she never got the promised Seven Star Sword. Got it now, done.
'Not the only reason.' Dong Zhuo had worn thin too.
Lu Bu followed her expecting rivers of blood to wash in battle.
But court-conquering Dong Zhuo just basked in sycophant luxury.
'Talked a lot about that Kim guy... lame.' Warrior fawning over one stud? Lu Bu's appetite soured.
Admire the strong, scorn the weak. Lu Bu's creed.
'Shame we didn't kill her.' Left it to Zhang Liao, Xu Huang, Li Jue, Guo Si, Zhang Ji—beasts eyeing Dong Zhuo. Gave 'em the shot, but the fangless tiger broke the encirclement.
Clop clop.
Mounted on Red Hare, Lu Bu eyed the horizon.
"Now, I'll crush the warlords mocking the imperial house and bring peace to this world."
She didn't care for peace, but glanced at Wang Yun with those words.
"Chang'an's yours, Lord Wang."
Perfect guard dogs. Lu Bu smirked inwardly.
"...Of course. I'll restore the Han laws ruined by traitor Dong Zhuo."
Wang Yun's face burned with humiliation, eyes flickering rage.
"Hmph."
Lu Bu chuckled at the glare, then spurred her Xiliang cavalry forward.
One goal: east. Nearby Xu Chang, then Xuzhou. Push to Hebei, expand territory.
All she craved: battlefields.
'Dong Zhuo's ass too big? Too heavy.' Lu Bu, no slouch in the hips herself, cracked the joke.
Lazing in luxury wasn't her style.
Left minimal garrison in Chang'an, Lu Bu led 30,000 straight to Xu Chang.
Meanwhile.
Cao Cao's camp.
"My lord. How long will this go on? Looting for local supplies is drying up. Grain's low. Time to resupply…."
Xun Yu spat out his own stopgap.
Slaughtered Xuzhou folk, spread infamy. Fail to take it and retreat? Massive loss. But holding? Still loss.
'Can't read our lord.' Xun Yu acknowledged Cao Cao's genius, but not the why.
"Xun Yu. I was gonna retreat sensibly not long ago."
Cao Cao said.
"But... now I've changed my mind."
He stared at Xun Yu, urging him to guess. Cao Cao loved these guessing games.
But Xun Yu knew better—failing to guess pleased him.
"Seeing Liu Bei changed my mind."
Cao Cao chuckled.
"Small force, but their detachments are fierce, I hear."
Xun Yu nodded.
Zhang He, Zhang Hong, Xiahou Dun, Xiahou Yuan—all routed by champions. Front favorable to Cao, but Liu Bei's pressure loomed.
"Yeah. Outnumbered, he sided with Xuzhou without doubt. By now, buttering up locals, swelling his ranks."
"…."
"His champions? Better treatment elsewhere. Yet they follow Liu Bei faithfully, no hesitation."
Cao Cao chuckled, gazing afar.
"Don't crush Liu Bei here, he'll swallow Xuzhou whole. Bet on it."
Cao Cao foresaw it.
No land base for Liu Bei. Certainty.
Liu Bei scarier than Yuan Shao crushing him. Man's instinct.
"Must take Liu Bei firm. Or…."
Hoping Xun Yu got it, Cao Cao continued—
"My lord!! Trouble!!"
A soldier dashed in, yelling.
"Lü, Lü Bu... leading troops to Xu Chang!! Yan Province clans joined her, flung gates wide!!"
Real bombshell from the soldier.
"What?!"
Cao Cao's face hardened.
"Zhang Miao? Leave it to him…."
"Zhang Miao... he's the one who stirred the Yan Province clans."
Soldier looked bitter.
"Fuck…."
Cao Cao bit back the curse, stood.
"Everyone!! About-face!!!"
Rousing sleeping troops, Cao Cao planned a silent night retreat.
Crisis or not, his calm orders snapped the army to perfect battle readiness.