Yeo Po Can't Be Stopped (1)
It was a skirmish that bordered on a brawl between small detachments, but we still succeeded in routing Jo In's forces. "Thank you!!" "Thanks so much!!" We even managed to save the civilians. Repelling the enemy and doing a good deed to boot—this had a real euphoric rush to it.
What was the word for it? It felt like I'd become a hero. A massive surge of superiority washed over me right there.
Escorting the civilians all the way to Xuzhou Castle, I turned toward Dong Zhuo's group and started the Q&A.
"My thanks, great hero. I'll surely remember your noble spirit in wielding your blade to protect us humble folk."
He spouted some generic formalities like that, and I gave a subtle nod toward the kids, signaling them to give us some space. They caught on quick and cleared out right away.
"Hey... you going after that woman too?"
"He's got a wife already, and something's up with that General Guan too."
Seemed like the rank-and-file were getting the wrong idea. No, that's not it at all, you idiots.
"Kim Gong's such a womanizer... I hope he turns his charms on me soon..."
Chun Seol blushed and bowed her head deeply. What the hell was that mumble-rap? Her delivery was total garbage; couldn't make out a word.
At the rear of the procession, I approached Dong Zhuo and spoke up. The Status Window doesn't lie. The name floating above his head clearly read 'Dong Zhuo.'
"Hold up a sec—gonna chat with this guy. Catch up with the group later." I waved the kids off. They dragged their feet, bummed about missing the juicy drama.
"Ugh, seriously."
I whipped out my sword and chased them like it was tag. "Got it!!" "Y-yeah, let's go!!" Only then did they finally scamper away.
In the end, the ruins of Xuzhou held just me and Dong Zhuo.
"Y-you must be Kim Gong. I've heard tales of your fame spreading across the Central Plains."
The masked Dong Zhuo feigned ignorance with effort. Playing dumb all the way? Just pretend I don't know and bang her anyway...? That sleazy thought flickered briefly before I shook it off. Nah, this isn't that genre. Not my life.
"Ahem. I'm just a traveler passing through Xuzhou... Mok Lan is my name."
That's how she introduced herself. Mok Lan? For a tyrant who butchered and spared at whim, that alias was way too dainty. Maybe some hidden feminine side bubbling up from Dong Zhuo's depths.
"Call me Kim Gong, formerly of the Central Commandery."
I just ripped the band-aid off cleanly.
"Hm. What do you mean by that?"
But Dong Zhuo shook her head, body tensing slightly. Even through the mask, her panic was obvious.
It's Dong Zhuo. Just come clean. If you fess up now, maybe I can figure something out.
I rested my hand on my sword hilt and stared her down straight.
No, shit. Why the hell is Dong Zhuo here?
Just her presence tanked reputation like Thanos snapping—ours plummeted.
Canon scenario's Lu Bu killing Dong Zhuo in the Linked Camps trap centered on Diaochan.
That was the standard path. But this game had random variables, so I kept alternatives in mind. There was even a rare reverse where Dong Zhuo killed Lu Bu. Super low odds, but in that case, Dong Zhuo holed up as king in Chang'an like a hikikomori and faded out. Rare enough that players called it the "hidden route" (my personal meme).
Anyway, post-Dong Zhuo assassination, it flowed into the usual: Lu Bu getting thrashed by Li Jue and Guo Si, then striking Xu Chang. But here Dong Zhuo just shows up out of nowhere. A route I'd never seen in dozens of playthroughs.
Because Yeo Po and Dong Zhuo are genderbent? Is that the variable?
Mind-boggling either way.
"...H-how did you know?"
Dong Zhuo finally gave up, slumping in defeat. Her chest heaved noticeably through her armor—pure cheat-code curves, the epitome of voluptuousness. A walking male fantasy.
"Weren't you playing Prime Minister back in Chang'an?"
Less anger, more sheer disbelief. This wasn't right. I was the possessor here—the story had to follow the game's flow. Not this derailment.
"...I got chased out by Yeo Po and her crew."
Dong Zhuo confessed flatly.
"Wait, what?" No way that happened?
She removed her mask wordlessly. A long, vicious scar marred her face—ugly enough to sour anyone's mood just looking at it.
But her beauty's the real cheat key. Even with that, her looks held strong. Overwhelming power of a stunner.
Anyway. "Yeo Po already turned my inner circle. She raised a rebellion, and I nearly got done in by those Xiliang beasts. As you see, my face is wrecked, but I barely escaped with my life and ran like hell."
She spoke calmly, covering her face again—embarrassed that I'd stared too openly at the scar.
"So you want our help?"
My grip tightened on the hilt. Dong Zhuo's a no-go...! Keeping her around or nearby tanked me and Liu Bei's whole army rep.
"No, nothing like that."
Dong Zhuo stammered. "I was just wandering aimlessly and ended up in Xuzhou. That's the truth."
She fumbled in panic. "I've... seen a lot drifting alone. What I've ruined, the suffering of this era's people."
And suddenly she was spinning like a washing machine!!
"Then I met those good folks from that village just now."
She sighed, gazing at the ruined hamlet. "They had no food for themselves while prepping to flee, yet they shared with a drifter like me. I fought those Cao army bastards to repay that kindness."
I got the gist of her tale.
That much ain't a lie. She'd thrown herself at Jo In's squad to buy time for the civilians' escape, planning to face them solo.
"So, born anew, huh? Even changed your name to Mok Lan."
I smirked at her. Couldn't erase the past, but trying to live as a new person to ease the guilt? Kinda pathetic, but touching.
"Sure, that won't wipe away my sins."
Dong Zhuo sighed. "Shouldn't have said all that."
She reached for my sword hilt, yanking it free with brute force. "Wait, hold on...?"
I stared in shock as she guided the blade to her neck. "Strike me down. Death won't fully atone, but better than living shamelessly."
Or ravish me wretchedly first, then kill me. I'll accept it all." She smiled with resignation.
"Whoa, hang on...."
Her sudden suicide talk threw me off. Seppuku attack? When someone's hellbent on offing themselves, the one egging them on ends up panicking.
"No!! Death's what I deserve!!"
She overpowered me, forcing the blade toward her throat. "Wait!! Stop!! You crazy—!!"
I scrambled to block her. "At least... dying before a man I kinda liked isn't so bad."
She smiled wistfully, gazing skyward. "You saw through the mask. Boosts a woman's confidence. Means I left an impression on a guy I'm into."
Her forlorn words melted my resolve!! I knew it was a washing machine routine, but... I was weak to beauties!! No helping it—man's nature!
"Next life, I wanna marry a guy like you, be a normal wife. Have kids too."
"Argh!! Enough!!"
Damn it, you're softening me up more! As we tussled over the sword, rustling came from afar.
"Huh?! You!! Kim, right?!"
"L-Liu Bei forces sighted...!"
A familiar voice rang out. Our eyes snapped that way. Twin-tailed beauties who looked like twins— one with a spear, the other a bow. Xiahou Dun and Xiahou Yuan sisters.
"Perfect timing!!! We couldn't settle things last time!!"
Xiahou Dun ignored our scuffle, charging with spear raised. "Let's finish that fight!!"
She bellowed, barreling at me. "S-sis...!!! Solo acting up again...!!"
Xiahou Yuan winced, hurrying after her sister.
Shit. This was bad. Real bad. Cao army's fierce generals double-teaming me. Only play was obvious.
"Mok Lan!!"
I snatched my sword back, calling her alias. "Deal with those two first!! We'll sort the rest later!!"
Temporary alliance declared. "Ah.... Y-yeah...!"
She looked flustered as the grim mood shattered. Dong Zhuo awkwardly raised her blade into stance.
If she'd really wanted to die, she'd have let the Xiahou sisters have her. Or drowned in a ditch. Technically hypocrisy. But whatever—priority one: survival.
Xiahou Dun and Yuan had leveled up since last time; solo 2v1 dribble was too tough now. Scenario scaling. To escape a fight here, I needed Dong Zhuo as backup.
No choice. Temp allies!
------
Not long before this. Xiahou Dun wandered Xuzhou's ruins, bored, with only her sister Xiahou Yuan in tow. A stark contrast to other Cao generals and troops methodically looting and destroying.
She'd told her Qingzhou troops to handle themselves, staring ahead with disappointment.
"Sis!! We're not street punks anymore!! How long you gonna be stubborn?!"
Xiahou Yuan rarely piped up given her timid nature—this was bold for her.
"This ain't the hero's life I dreamed of."
Xiahou Dun drawled. "I wanna crush the strong, make my name echo through the land. Not slaughter trembling civilians who won't even fight back. Looting's no fun."
Her subtle protest to Cao Cao.
"Still... Lord Cao, er, our lord, has his reasons..."
Xiahou Yuan was follow-orders-first.
"Doesn't sit right. Would be nice if someone at least charged with a blade..."
As Xiahou Dun trailed off listlessly, she spotted a man and woman clashing swords. That bushy hair, those eerily clear eyes gleaming with madness... Yeah. Kim.
The brute who'd gone toe-to-toe with her and Yuan. Fighting him would blow away this boredom.
"Hey!! Kim!!"
Xiahou Dun bolted like a wild filly. "Ugh... I really hate sis sometimes..."
Xiahou Yuan made a sour face, trailing after once more.