The Upheaval in Xuzhou
After driving off the bandit horde encamped before Beihai, I immediately joined Liu Bei's army and strode boldly into the city.
Of course, with Guan He bound and trussed up like luggage.
"Kim. What's that? The bandit leader?"
Guan Yu approached me.
"Yeah, sis. Captured him alive."
I grinned, proudly showing off Guan He like a trophy.
"Kim... you've gotten so strong?"
Guan Yu's eyes sparkled as she ruffled my hair with tremendous enthusiasm.
"Capturing an enemy alive instead of just cutting them down! That's a technique only possible when you're completely superior in skill!"
Guan Yu ruffled my hair even harder, as if she were about to burst with pride. Yeah. Her strokes were so fast, my scalp was heating up. Gonna start a fire soon.
"Kim. You're getting stronger every time. So impressive."
Guan Yu said that, then added one more line.
"I like a man who keeps growing."
Guan Yu suddenly dropped an ambiguous line that was hard to respond to.
"S-Sis?"
I froze, flustered by the unexpectedly embarrassing words.
"Ah, haa... Ah, I mean..."
Guan Yu floundered, her face flushing bright red. The atmosphere between us turned strangely intimate.
That was when it happened.
"Anyway, why bother capturing this bandit alive?"
Zhang Fei asked.
"To publicly execute him and reassure the people of Beihai," Liu Bei said.
"Hiiyaak..."
At those words, Guan He's face twisted in terror. His swarthy skin paled in an instant.
"That's one way, but this guy's martial prowess is actually pretty useful. Talented people are rare these days, right? I'd like to enlist him in my special squad."
He was essential manpower to bolster my ragtag Kim Squad.
I knew my limits. I wasn't hoping for someone on Zhao Yun or Zhang He's level. Guan He would do just fine.
"Hmm. Very well."
Liu Bei glanced over at Guan He.
"But they say a bandit's habits die hard. You sure about this?"
Liu Bei asked.
Yeah, exactly. Even Liu Bei occasionally let his old thug habits slip.
"I'll take responsibility and set him straight."
I said that, then looked at Guan He.
Hmm. Was it because he was bound up, his tunic skirt hiked up? His firm ass and leopard-print panties were blatantly on display.
Smack smack.
On impulse, I smacked his ass. So plump and juicy.
"Hiiyaak?!"
Guan He shuddered violently, letting out a groan.
Knowing I held his life in my hands made me bold. This much was fine, right?
"Hmm. If you say so, Kim Gong."
Liu Bei seemed convinced by my words. Partly because he trusted me, but also because he understood how precious every able body was in these chaotic times.
"Th-Then... I won't die?"
Setting aside the humiliation of the ass-smacks, Guan He relaxed with relief at surviving.
"Hmm. Obey me, and you're good. But if you get any funny ideas, I'll flay you alive."
I said it straight.
"Hiiik?!"
Guan He froze solid.
The condition for recruiting Guan He as a comrade is overwhelming strength. Show superior skill, and he'd join without any special events—a sweet deal.
And so, under amicable agreement from both sides, Guan He joined our Kim Squad.
"Alright, Guan He. These are our comrades. Pull your weight, and you'll rise through the ranks here too."
I clapped him on the shoulder with a smile.
Now, smile at the squad—
"A-Ah, y-yes... P-Please take care of me..."
Maybe from excessive fear of me, Guan He trembled and kept his eyes down.
"Smile at the guys."
I whispered right in his ear.
"Hiiik...!"
Guan He made a tearful face but forced a grin through brimming eyes.
Hmm. Yeah. That's better.
"Lord Xuande!! Thank you so much!! I knew you'd pull through somehow!!"
Inside Beihai city. Prime Minister Kong Rong rushed out in hastily donned armor to express his gratitude.
"I'm the one grateful that you placed your faith in this Xuande."
Liu Bei replied humbly, bowing his head slightly.
"I've had my eye on you since the Anti-Dong Zhuo Coalition. This old minister's judgment was spot on!"
Kong Rong then turned to Tai Shici.
"Ziyi. You really brought reinforcements."
Kong Rong thanked Tai Shici as well.
"Heh. Didn't you show kindness to my mother? I'm glad to repay that favor."
Tai Shici spoke like the epitome of righteousness.
Indeed. To repay Kong Rong's favor to his mother, Tai Shici had broken through the bandits' siege alone to reach the plains. That alone made him the manliest of men.
I'd considered recruiting him to Liu Bei's side... but it was impossible.
Tai Shici has no recruitment quest. Raising affinity to make him serve wasn't feasible. He was indebted to Governor Liu Yu of Youzhou. No matter how much you persuaded him, he'd just repeat his FM-like loyalty about repaying his debt.
You could recruit him after he fell out with Liu Yu... but by then, he'd be fighting Sun Ce in Jiangdong. To get Tai Shici, you'd have to dive into the jungle that was Jiangdong at the time.
Unless you were all-in on Wu faction play, the process was a hassle. So I settled for just getting on friendly terms.
"Come inside first."
Kong Rong led us to the government offices and served simple tea and refreshments.
We watched a passionate display of gratitude from the era's top literati, then spent some time bonding. Soon, the chit-chat spread even to the lower seats. Liu Bei's attention was drawn to a scholar at the end of the table where Kong Rong sat.
"This is Mi Zhu, the great wealthy merchant of Xuzhou, renowned far and wide."
Kong Rong chuckled as he introduced him.
"Ah, the famously incorruptible Lord Mi."
Liu Bei's eyes lit up as he nodded.
Yeah. Mi Zhu had surprisingly high fame. Xuzhou's richest man, yet incorruptible, with top-notch administrative skills—he'd gotten offers from various warlords. Liu Bei must have known of him.
"Rebellion has broken out in Xuzhou right now, so I came yesterday begging for aid. But with bandits plaguing us here too, I couldn't help and was at a loss."
Kong Rong explained quickly.
"In Xuzhou? Isn't Governor Tao Qian ruling it peacefully?"
Liu Bei tilted his head quizzically.
"Well..."
Mi Zhu clutched his head, his face saying it gave him a headache just thinking about it.
What followed was the standard explanation time that anyone familiar with Romance of the Three Kingdoms would know.
The era had devolved into a power struggle among the Yuan clan. The two leaders, at odds since the Anti-Dong Zhuo Coalition, had finally started fighting. Yuan Shao, who had begun acting as Yuan clan head without Yuan Shu's permission, and Yuan Shu, who opposed him—thus splitting the north.
One faction: Yuan Shu, Gongsun Zan, and Tao Qian.
The other: Yuan Shao and Cao Cao's duo.
Power-wise, the former was stronger, but Yuan Shao and Cao Cao were both on the rise, making the fight evenly matched.
The problem? Tao Qian's Xuzhou bordered Cao Cao's territory. Tao Qian couldn't help but feel threatened. He didn't want open war with Cao Cao, even if they were in different factions.
So Tao Qian seized the "Cao Cao's dad" opportunity. He exchanged letters with Cao Cao's father, building rapport. They shared hobbies like hunting and Go, so they hit it off. Tao Qian hoped this would secure Xuzhou's peace.
Eventually, they arranged an in-person meeting. Tao Qian hurried to set it up, and Cao Cao loaded his father Cao Song with gifts and spending money to send him off.
But that's where it went wrong. Zhang Kai, the Tao Qian general escorting Cao Song, saw the treasures, lost his mind, killed Cao Song and his entourage, looted everything clean, and bolted.
Cao Cao jumped on the pretext, mobilized his troops, and was madly invading Xuzhou to devour it by force. Reports said he was massacring every soul in sight—not just Tao Qian's forces. Chilling stuff.
Even fans of Cao Cao can't defend this incident. Chen Shou, author of the Records and a Cao Cao admirer, called it a "great massacre" and criticized it harshly. That said it all.
But anyway.
Zhang Kai's treasure... Annoying quest, but the reward's killer. It was a treasure hunt for the loot Zhang Kai and his men had fled with. A fetch quest requiring legwork across regions for clues, but the payout was so good everyone did it.
Playing this game, you'd hit money shortages; completing this covered you till mid-game.
I'll handle that properly in Xuzhou. Toss in the Kim Squad pack mules, and it'd be quick.
"Such turmoil in Xuzhou... Have you tried persuading Lord Cao?"
Liu Bei asked.
"We sent envoys, but no response."
Mi Zhu said grimly.
"...Then there's no choice."
Liu Bei seemed to realize this was an opportunity he couldn't pass up.
"This Xuande will go persuade Lord Mengde. We fought together, so there's camaraderie. If he won't listen, I'll stand in his way myself."
Unthinkable bravado from a mere mercenary captain with just 1,000 troops.
"They say Lord Xuande is a man of benevolence and righteousness... It's true!"
Mi Zhu gaped in admiration.
"Just doing what must be done."
Liu Bei smiled gently and rose from his seat.
"Lord Kong. Duty calls; I must depart soon."
Liu Bei bowed to Kong Rong.
"Ah... Of course."
Even Kong Rong seemed taken aback by Liu Bei's demeanor.
Honestly, charging ahead despite overwhelming odds was impressively cool. The epitome of Romance of the Three Kingdoms romance.
"The plains aren't far; once I get Brother Gongsun's permission, I'll bring all our forces to support."
Liu Bei reassured Mi Zhu.
Right. Needed Gongsun Zan's approval first. Plus, pack up from the plains and scout exit routes. Liu Bei was already plotting to jump from Gongsun Zan to Tao Qian.
And snag Zhao Yun too. On loan, but Gongsun Zan was doomed soon anyway—basically recruiting Zhao Yun.
And so, the curtain rose on this game's hellishly difficult Xuzhou quest. Liu Bei accepted without hesitation, and I was along for the ride.
Hang in there a bit in Xuzhou... then bail for real. Snag Zhang Kai's treasure and bolt. I steeled myself with my nth escape delay line.
And when I get home, make a kid with Yonghwa. Realizing I'd dragged myself into deadly danger stirred my primal breeding instinct. Leave my seed first—that was priority.
As those thoughts crossed my mind, Guan Yu was staring at me with feverish eyes.
"Haa... haa... haa..."
Her breathing was ragged. And her gaze... like she was about to devour me.
Uh, sis. Why the sudden intensity? I wanted to ask, but the urgent situation swept us all hastily back to the plains. No chance to probe Guan Yu further. I learned her true intent soon enough.
"Kim... Want to bathe together?"
In the dead of night, dead asleep from marching, Guan Yu—wearing only thin undergarments—grabbed my hand and whispered. What the hell was this? Amid the confusion, and with Guan Yu's stunning nude body right there, my head spun dizzily.