Crushing the Chariot General
Seo Yeong had a serious problem: she was far too steeped in her gamer mindset in every way. She'd set her avatar to the game's default male face, thinking it wouldn't stand out much, but surprisingly, Kim cut a striking figure. With his hair left unkempt—no topknot, just bangs hanging down and that idiot tuft poking up from the crown of his head—it was pretty eye-catching. It was like those adult compromises in games. Even in a Three Kingdoms game, making characters look like authentic Middle Kingdom folk from that era would kill the fun. Gamers instinctively wanted handsome, pretty characters. So there was some idealization there. Kim had a normal default male look, but in reality, he stood out more than expected.
Above all, Seo Yeong herself was hyper-aware of Kim. 'This guy ignores our lord's favor.' That sparked massive jealousy and rage in her. Most of the Xiliang army harbored affection and lust for Dong Zhuo. Maybe because Dong Zhuo herself was such a voluptuous beauty. Something about her drove men mad. The Xiliang generals barely hid their lecherous gazes toward her. Among them, Seo Yeong was the one who truly loved Dong Zhuo. She'd joined the Xiliang ranks after being captivated by Dong Zhuo's beauty. Hua Xiong, just reported dead, had been the same.
'Can a cattle butcher's knife be used to slaughter a chicken?' That's what he'd said to delay Lu Bu's advance, but Hua Xiong had his own motives. He wanted to rack up merits and earn Dong Zhuo's favor. He mounted his horse without even hiding his bulging crotch, charging into battle. Seo Yeong was much the same, so she couldn't mock his foolishness.
And yet, the one Dong Zhuo had shown interest in first was none other than Kim. But Kim kept his distance from her. It was like he was flaunting how he was different from the others. Daring to reject my goddess's favor? Half of her fury stemmed from that insolence.
'It's the middle of the battlefield anyway.' In war, cutting down enemy generals you encountered was par for the course.
"You there!!! You're Kim, right!! Die!!!"
Seo Yeong spurred her horse straight toward Kim's carriage.
───────
Splatter!!Thud!!
After Sun Jian swept through a wave of enemies, I was cleaning up the remaining Xiliang troops to catch up to his rear when suddenly, the enemy general Seo Yeong came charging at me like a maniac.
What? Sun Jian didn't pull her aggro first? I'd been hanging back safely, trying not to draw heat while watching for an angle to join Sun Jian and Seo Yeong's fight. But Seo Yeong seemed to have me as her target from the start.
Rumble-rumble-rumble!!!
The war chariot barreled toward me at insane speed.
"Everyone, pull back!!!"
I bellowed at the Kim Squad members behind me.
"What're you saying!!! You can't run from the battlefield!!"
The bald guy, Gwang Yeom, yelled back. Fuck. Seems like his flexibility died with his hair follicles.
"Scatter...!!"
True to form, the old Northerner danced nimbly, herding the newbies away.
"Gu Ryeok-go!! Fall back for now!!"
Getting trampled by that chariot would kill us for real—no bullshit.
I know how to handle Seo Yeong, so I have no choice but to fight. Finally, a chance to face Seo Yeong, the gatekeeper boss for newbie combat characters. She was a boss the game devs pushed hard—featured in trailers and all.
A boss with deep meaning.
Seo Yeong was the gatekeeper for combat-focused builds. Struggling against her at this stage meant shelving dreams of a combat character. It was the trial for anyone who'd invested in fighting stats.
Her patterns were simple but hit like trucks. You needed to dodge and parry situationally for an easy clear.
Truth be told, fighting her during Cao Cao's ambush is the canon path. After Hulao Pass fell, the Seo Yeong who ambushed Cao Cao's pursuing army was a bit weaker. This fresh Seo Yeong had higher specs. But it didn't matter. I'd sunk my life into this game. I knew all her patterns cold.
Might as well make an impression here and boost Sun Jian's affinity.
I decided to think positive. Shing. Drew my sword and took stance.
Absolutely cannot fight her with the squad. Seo Yeong was the boss where group fights with allies wasted efficiency most. Rushing in mindlessly would just melt my squadmates.
"Hah!!! You've got guts!! I acknowledge you!!!"
Seo Yeong laughed from her chariot, gripping hand axes in both hands.
"Come on!! Lads!! Behold the fury of Xiliang!!!"
She whipped her chariot into motion right away.
Clatter!!!!
The massive horses neighed briefly before the heavy chariot thundered across the field.
Rumble!!
In-game, I'd thought of her as just a big enemy, but seeing it live, the intimidation was next-level.
"What are you doing!! Jiangdong troops, don't falter!!! Surround the chariot!!!"
Sun Jian barked orders at the top of his lungs. The Jiangdong soldiers surged forward.
"No!! Stop!!!"
Ignore Seo Yeong!! Don't throw bodies at her!!!! But the Jiangdong troops ignored me.
"Hah!!! Useless small fry!!!"
As Seo Yeong said. Shing.Splatter-slash-slash-slash!!
The blade horns sprouting from the chariot's sides tore through the soldiers' legs like paper. The speed and weight made it devastating. Charging fodder just got mulched and scattered.
Seo Yeong... especially strong against basic grunts. Left alone, she'd slaughter hundreds. Her base pattern was pure AoE.
The canon way to kill her was a duel. One-on-one minimized losses.
Whoooosh!!
The chariot closed in. Shing. A side blade slashed for my waist. It had parry judgment. With Taiji Sword, you could flow it away.
I twisted sideways, angling my blade just so.
Claaaaang!!!!
Vibration shot through my sword, nudging the chariot's trajectory off.
Thwuck!!!
As I retracted, I whipped toward the horse. Clang!! Its steel barding resisted—the damn horse had better armor than me. But my Far East Sword was solid for this stage. The blade bit into its thick hide, drawing blood.
Damage landed.
"Neigh-hi-hi-hing!!!"
The horse screamed, halting.
"You bastard....!!!"
Seo Yeong clicked her tongue at the stop, swinging her hand axe.
Claaaaang-!!
I blocked, resetting stance. Seo Yeong's gimmick: her horse had stamina. Parry chariot attacks, chip the horse steadily—that was key. Once stamina bottomed, finish it to unhorse her. That was the meta. Wasting effort on Seo Yeong flailing behind the chariot just burned health.
"Come on!! Show me what you got!!!"
I taunted with my sword.
"Let's see how long that smug face lasts!!!"
Seo Yeong whipped her chariot in a wide circle, charging again.
Rumble-gaga-got!!!
"Gahaaak?!!"
"Kiaaak!!!"
Unlucky nearby soldiers got trampled, screaming to death. Infantry are so helpless... That's what hit me.
But her raging with tricks was fine by me. Drift, whatever—tire those two horses, and I win.
"Neigh!!!"
The horses charged again. While Seo Yeong fixated on me like a lovestruck fool, I yelled to Sun Jian.
"Lord Sun!!! Take the Jiangdong troops and advance!! I'll hold here!!"
Since we'd joined the anti-Dong Zhuo coalition, our side had to win. Sun Jian needed to push past Hulao Pass to Luoyang for Luoyang farming. With things gone sideways, prioritize saving Sun Jian.
"...Hmph!!! Understood!!"
Sun Jian, seasoned commander, knew they had to seize Hulao quick. He led soldiers and generals away.
"Die!!!"
Even with Sun Jian's aggro potential, Seo Yeong was dead-set on me.
Rumble!!
With the chariot's heavy charge, she hurled a hand axe—her ranged pattern.
Claaaaang-!!Tiiiing-!!!
I flowed it away, backstepping slightly. Shiiiing!!!! Bounced spear and blade tips flying from the chariot, hunting openings.
Splatter!!Clang!!
Snuck sword strikes at the approaching horse.
"Neigh!!!!!"
Steel-plated all over, but my blade was gnawing in. Blood seeped from under its armor. Plus, Seo Yeong drove like a savage. Horse HP dropping was inevitable. Just like the game, her charge slowed.
End soon. I readied as the horse's stamina bar hit zero behind it.
Neigh-hi-hi-hing. Its cry slowed to slo-mo.
Clatter!!!!!
Horse went berserk—I charged straight ahead, no dodge.
"....?!"
Seo Yeong's face froze seeing me block head-on.
"Kkiyaaaak?!!!!"
I roared, slashing huge.
Clang!!!!Crunch!!
Diagonal cleave sheared the horse's thigh clean. Prior gashes loosened the chainmail—blade sank perfect.
Tiiiiing!!!
Horse posture collapsed instantly.
Splat!!
It tumbled mid-gallop, sprawling. Enemy staggered—pure kill cam instinct took over.
Thud. Grabbed its neck, vaulted on, jammed my sword into its throat full force.
Squiiiish!!!!!
"H-hi-hi-hi-hing!!!!!"
Blood gushed from its throat, muscles twitching along my blade. Life ebbed through the hilt.
Rumble-rumble!!!
Overturned chariot sprayed dirt and mud, halting.
"Grkhaaa!!!"
Seo Yeong flew off, tumbling across the ground. Seo Yeong... born in an era without airbags or bumpers, mere mortal.