Mockery at the Gates and the Warlords Assemble
"Liu Bei, Xuan De? Even the Pingyuan Minister graces us with his presence."
A soldier spoke in a tone dripping with insolence.
"Ah, the guy who showed his face briefly in the Guangzong battle. Our lord said even that got him a cushy imperial post from the court."
Another soldier chimed in like they were trading barbs in a comedy routine. These two really clicked.
"Hah. Come here to snag another title?"
With no reaction from us, they kept up the trash talk without missing a beat.
[Level 10 Soldier]
[Yuan Shu Army Affiliation]
The affiliation popped up right away.
As expected, employees take after their boss. True to Yuan Shu's thuggish reputation, his men were just as lacking in manners.
'Yuan Shu was basically a political gangster who made a name for himself. His subordinates are cut from the same cloth.'
In truth, Yuan Shu was infamous as a bully in Luoyang. You know the type—good family, but lives like a wastrel. The classic spoiled rich kid cliché. They say he was a lawless rogue feared everywhere, unbound by any rules.
Even his entry into central politics came because He Jin valued that exact trait—his ability to rally every thug in Luoyang.
Maybe that's why. Yuan Shu's troops had personalities that were completely off the rails.
"Big brother!! No need to waste time!!! They just gave us some fine well-wishes!!! Let's repay 'em by pounding their asses!!"
Zhang Fei leaped off his horse and raised his fists.
"Hm. Better to just cut down scum like this."
Guan Yu said it with a chilling glare.
Truth be told, Guan Yu was the real maniac beyond even Zhang Fei. Zhang Fei just wanted to throw punches, but Guan Yu was dead serious about murder. Her eyes said it all.
"No. Aren't we all heroes gathered by oath? Fighting among ourselves defeats the purpose."
Liu Bei calmly shook his head and gazed into the distance.
A commotion at the outpost entrance had the inner guards buzzing.
Liu Bei dismounted and bellowed.
"Does a humble villager without rank have no place in great affairs?! Is staking one's life on righteous intent such a grave sin?!"
And just like that, he launched into a speech.
"Hey, you... "
The Yuan Shu soldiers grabbed their weapons to threaten Liu Bei the moment—
Clang.
Guan Yu swung her Green Dragon Crescent Blade, neatly splitting a Yuan Shu soldier's spear shaft. Despite wielding such a massive weapon, her motion was swift as a shortsword.
"You bastard...!"
In this crisis where our side drew first, another Yuan Shu soldier reached for his sword.
Thwack!!
Zhang Fei unleashed a meteor-like punch, flattening the Yuan Shu soldier.
"Guh...!!"
Another Yuan Shu soldier charged from afar. Any vet would know—he was the watch captain. That's the guy who hangs back and directs from the side.
"You think you can just—!"
The watch captain boldly drew his crescent blade.
Guan Yu and Zhang Fei had made their moves... and the vibe said I needed to pitch in too.
Shing.
I drew my cherished Far East Sword and locked onto his motion.
Shiiiing!!
His heavy downward crescent blade strike—I timed it perfectly, angling my sword to deflect.
Tiiiing!!
The flowing water technique from Taiji Swordplay worked flawlessly, diverting the captain's slash.
Wobble.
Seizing his stagger, I smashed the sword hilt into his nose bridge.
"Kuheuk!!!"
The watch captain collapsed, blood gushing from his nose.
In one swift sequence, all three Yuan Shu sentries were subdued.
'...'
They'd thought we were just country bumpkins, but now the air shifted. Not your average villagers, huh?
"If Lord Xuan De had stepped in, these three would be headless corpses by now."
I puffed up Liu Bei's momentum while flexing a bit.
All eyes turned to Liu Bei.
"Indeed!!! We hail from the boonies, and the Guangzong victory wasn't ours alone! Countless heroes aided us in quelling the chaos!!! We earned a minor post by risking our lives against the Yellow Turbans!!!"
Liu Bei roared, scanning the crowd.
"As Pingyuan Minister, I've never embezzled a single coin or neglected the people's welfare—working sleepless nights to stabilize lives!! Is that such a crime?! Does it bar me from this coalition against the traitor Dong Zhuo?!!"
Liu Bei's words ignited like fire.
"You there, lying warrior!! What's your name?"
Suddenly, Liu Bei pointed at the fallen man.
"Wh-what's it to you... "
The crescent blade guy clutched his nose, glaring at Liu Bei.
"Hey now."
I leveled my sword at his throat.
"Guh... Gil Su."
He spilled his name instantly.
"Gil Su!! To Gil Su, gatekeeper of this coalition, I ask: Was my service as Pingyuan Minister so wrong?!"
Liu Bei zeroed in on one man.
People clam up when responsibility pins them down. This Gil Su started floundering.
"N-no, it's not that serving as Pingyuan Minister was wrong, but... "
Gil Su flailed. He'd fallen for Liu Bei's signature exaggeration rhetoric!
"Judge me, Gil Su—and all you here!!! Does this Pingyuan Minister Liu Bei qualify for the Anti-Dong Zhuo Coalition?!!"
Liu Bei thundered, arms raised high.
"If you deem me unworthy!!! We'll withdraw without grudge!!! But if you all say I qualify!!!! I'll give my life in devoted service!!!!"
There was something profoundly moving in Liu Bei's resounding cry.
"Uh, um... "
The bullying soldiers suddenly looked like the villains.
Clap clap clap!!!
Soldiers moved by the oath began applauding.
Clap clap clap!!
Then thunderous applause echoed from afar.
It came from behind us, so I turned instinctively.
"What a heart-stirring speech!!! Hah!! To think such oath-bound spirit still exists!! The world is worth living in!"
The slightly high-pitched, ticklish, crisp voice drew every eye.
There stood a man in red armor. Someone we knew well—Cao Cao. Xiahou Dun and Xiahou Yuan flanked him like escorts. Nice to see familiar faces.
"Brother Xuan De. I knew it was you. With you here, it's like gaining a heavenly host. Haha."
Cao Cao chuckled, clapping Liu Bei's shoulder with obvious fondness. Yet his gaze probed Liu Bei appraisingly. That's what made him scary.
"Lord Xuan De, of course you qualify. Come, let's head in. Haha."
Cao Cao grinned and nodded to the soldiers.
Thanks to his cover, we entered smoothly. The subdued Yuan Shu soldiers staggered up and cleared the way. Crisis resolved in a flash.
'Blasting through with a speech.' Classic Liu Bei. The man's mouth was a wonder.
Inside, the Anti-Dong Zhuo Coalition was already parading triumphantly, blood pumping.
The 18 warlords of this volunteer army led their troops, kicking up dust clouds.
"Nanyang Governor, General Yuan Shu!!!!"
A drummer bellowed introductions one by one.
"Jizhou Inspector Han Fu!!!!"
The guy who'd lose Jizhou wholesale to Yuan Shao.
"Yuzhou Governor Kong Zhou!!!"
"Yanzhou Governor Liu Dai!!!"
Scholarly bigwigs with plenty of troops but faint hearts.
"Henei Governor Wang Kuang!!!"
A wealthy name in the Central Plains. He'd footed a good chunk of this volunteer army's bill.
"Chenliu Governor Zhang Miao!!!"
Cao Cao's old friend. Ended up stabbing him in the back and paying the price. Hard to defend that betrayal, though.
"Donggun Governor Qiao Mao!!!"
"Shanyang Governor Yuan Yi!!!"
"Jibei Minister Bao Xin!!!"
"Beihai Minister Kong Rong!!!"
The guy who'd later quest for Liu Bei's army. Late Han's top poet and scholar. We studied his poems in college—GOAT credentials. Wrong era, though; ended up the archetype of the impotent intellectual, killed off. TMI, anyway.
"Guangling Governor Zhang Chao!!!"
"Xuzhou Governor Tao Qian!!!"
Folks we know well. Skipping details.
"Xiliang Governor Ma Teng!!!!"
The man commanding Xiliang's military might. Arguably the strongest pure combat force here.
"Beiping Governor Gongsun Zan!!!"
Our Liu Bei crew felt like the odd ones out here.
"Shangdang Governor Zhang Yang!!!"
"Changsha Governor Sun Jian!!!"
The Jiangdong Tiger who'd shone in Guangzong. Essential participant.
'Steal the Imperial Seal before he picks it up. That's the plan.' Seeing Sun Jian reminded me of my to-do. Plus, snag some prime gear here too. Luoyang's a treasure trove—that's why Dong Zhuo went mad looting it.
"And the lord of these warlords!! Bohai Governor Yuan Shao!!!"
The drummer finished pounding out the 17 warlords.
Cao Cao made 18, but technically, At best, he was a shady local influential clan member. Failed assassin turned hasty refugee from Front Army Colonel—shaky status. Had his own crews in Chenliu and Pei, but no real governorship.
'Cao Cao knew that, so he let Yuan Shao play figurehead.' Yuan Shao had the fame.
Cao Cao's rep was low here, but he'd birthed the coalition idea and spread the manifestos. Guy was a menace—master of the big picture.
Anyway, the intros wrapped up.
Tens of thousands mobilized. With this spirit and scale, toppling Dong Zhuo seemed feasible. Festive vibes all around.
"What can't we achieve with this force!!! Haha!!"
"Kekekek!!!"
"Jehahahaha!!!"
They toasted, sucking up mutually.
Atmosphere was golden so far.
Joined the Anti-Dong Zhuo Coalition.
I snagged a Fate Point too—nice bonus. They were stacking steadily. Eight points now!!!
Even in the high spirits, our Liu Bei crew's spot was awkward.
No seat at the big table for the nobodies—we just stood around dumbly. Other volunteers milled about similarly, minus the 18 warlords.
Some discrimination and friction, sure, but the thrill of powerhouses uniting kept things upbeat overall.
But good vibes never last.
"The Xiliang troops are lined up at Hangu Pass entrance, mocking us!!"
A patrolling soldier shouted.
They couldn't cross openly to hit Guandong yet, but Hangu Pass was sealed tight.
"Hah!!! Can't break Hangu, so they taunt!!"
Yuan Shu smirked, chomping meat.
"General Hua Xiong is mocking us beyond bounds!!"
Patrols disagreed.
Constant jeers were tanking morale. Troops stirred openly, furious.
"Hey!!!! Come out and fight!!!! What, protesting?! Huh?! This is a battlefield!!! Show your strength!!!"
Hua Xiong's booming voice carried from the walls.
"Ruining the booze."
The refined, princely Yuan Shao sighed, scanning around.
"Who among you heroes will fetch Hua Xiong's head?"
Yuan Shao eyed the crowd.
Story or not, openings matter. Battlefield glory too—nail the impact, claim the feat boldly. Behead Hua Xiong now? Instant legend status among the warlords. Bragging rights for life.
Confident elites itched to step up.
'...'
Sun Jian opened his mouth, but Yuan Shu glared, cutting him off. Clear hierarchy there. Sun Jian sidelined. Time for a third party.
"Entrust it to my brother, Yu Chong."
Every playthrough, same flow. Bao Xin pushed his brother Yu Chong.
"Hm. Quite the sturdy build. Go take Hua Xiong's head."
Yuan Shao casually spurred the burly Yu Chong.
"Hmph!! Back shortly!!"
Yu Chong mounted and charged Hangu Pass.
"Guh.... No chance for me... "
Stuck in the back row, Guan Yu fidgeted impatiently.
"Sis, hold on. Your moment's coming."
Her antsy cuteness mixed with pity, so I soothed her.
"They're all show—no substance. Your spotlight's inevitable."
"Uh, um... "
Guan Yu stared at my face, then shyly looked down.
Probably embarrassed at seeming eager despite her big-sis pride. I played dumb to her feelings and settled in to watch the scripted event unfold like a movie.