Yellow Turban Raid (2)
Sun Quan's desired game turned out to be, unexpectedly, house play.
'East or west, ancient or modern—do all little girls just love the same things?' That part felt oddly intriguing.
"Um.... My father only ever teaches me martial arts and archery. So I haven't really done much that's... girly."
She seemed to be opening up a little as she spoke to Bu Yonghwa. But she was deliberately avoiding my gaze, directing her words solely at her. Wait, why does this kid hate me so much? Do I just have one of those faces kids instinctively dislike? Ah, maybe it's the Sun family vibe. Kinda macho, yeah.
'Chaotic times.' You've gotta protect your own hide. That could be their family motto.
"Yes! Let's do it! I played it a ton when I was little!"
Bu Yonghwa clapped her hands in delight.
"Th-then... Uncle and... Sis can be Daddy and Mommy!"
Sun Quan's eyes lit up as she blurted it out. Uncle... That word stabbed right into my soul. Especially bitter to hear in your twenties.
"And I'll be the eldest daughter!"
Sun Quan grinned. What followed was an absurdly detailed setup. I was the general always out of the house working, Bu Yonghwa my devoted wife. Midway through, I'd taken a local concubine on a business trip and been a total jerk to my wife—but thanks to the eldest daughter's mediation, we overcame my midlife crisis and became a happy couple again. Whatever, gloss over the pointless specifics. Sun Quan had a surprisingly rich imagination.
"Honey, you're home?"
"Daddy!"
Bu Yonghwa and Sun Quan slipped right into character, welcoming me warmly.
"Daddy, I made food!"
Sun Quan darted to a nearby dirt pile. She kneaded it, fetched some water from close by, mixed it in, and shaped it. Ah, yeah—rough dirt cakes as 'cooking.' Classic house play move.
"Here, eat up!"
Sun Quan beamed as she offered it.
"......"
You pretend to eat when they hand you food to eat—that's house play rule number one.
"Nom nom."
I faked chewing, a mischievous urge bubbling up. 'What if I actually ate it instead of pretending?'
But... nah, scrapped that. Brain freeze, halt!
"Hehe. Eating with your whole mouth messy like that."
Bu Yonghwa chuckled, gently wiping the corner of my mouth.
We kept up the cozy family act... but one nagging question hit me. 'This is boring as hell.' Do girls actually enjoy this? Power Rangers or something would've been way more fun, right? Pure, innocent doubt. Still, Sun Quan looked thrilled, so I kept a straight face. Just play along.
We were ramping up the energy when—
"Hey. Kim."
A gang of rough-looking thugs approached us.
'Xiliang soldiers.' The spiky leather outfits gave it away. Kinda like apocalypse raiders, honestly. The topknots and mohawks just amplified the vibe.
"Eek...!"
Sun Quan's face froze at the sight of those obvious villains. She bolted behind me. Sure, she was scared of me too—but compared to those guys, I must've looked like a saint. See? Next to them, I'm basically a fairy. Check out that mug—scary as shit. Me? Refined.
"Casual talk right off the bat?"
I eyed the Xiliang soldiers and asked. Bu Yonghwa looked spooked too, edging behind me.
'What do Dong Zhuo's crew want?' No reason to hassle us—we're allies against the Yellow Turbans. But who knows. Dong Zhuo's a lunatic. Might flip out randomly.
"Northern Centurion General summons you. Tch."
A guy in spiked shoulder armor stepped forward.
"Ah, Western Hero."
Dong Zhuo's general, Xu Rong. One of the originals alongside Li Jue and Guo Si.
"By the Northern Centurion General's command. Our lord wants a private audience with you."
Xu Rong's face screamed utter disgust as he glared at me. Why's he making his hate so damn obvious?
"Private audience?"
Dong Zhuo wanted to see me? Major red flags.
"Yeah. You coming or not."
Xu Rong demanded.
"......."
Reeked of suspicion. Why would Dong Zhuo call me out personally?
'Better not cozy up to Dong Zhuo.' Game mechanics-wise, hanging with her was pure risk. She rampaged everywhere, drawing the world's hate. Just associating tanked your rep hard.
'Gotta manage reputation.' If I left Liu Bei's army, I'd probably merc or ronin for cash. Trust mattered.
'Nah, pretty big sis calling—gotta go.' A whisper from my lower body's imp, which I desperately ignored.
"Chance to earn the Northern Centurion's favor. Wash up clean... and there too."
Xu Rong grimaced, dropping that curveball.
"....The hell."
Favor? As in, that kind? Dong Zhuo was a lech in the original game—apparently unchanged even gender-swapped. Calling in a handsome general mid-war? Yeah, like that.
'Hot night with a pretty lady!! Go!! Must!!' My lower imp spammed like crazy.
Honestly... tempting. I'd be lying if I said it didn't sway me for a second.
But then Xu Rong doused it.
"Eh, your answer doesn't matter anyway."
He nodded to the nearby Xiliang soldiers. They went menacing, hands on sword hilts.
"Lord said drag you if needed."
Xu Rong drew his thorny mace from his belt.
That attitude sparked my contrarian streak. When someone tries forcing you, you just wanna push back.
"Acting like that just makes me wanna bail even more."
I stood, hand on my sword hilt.
"And I hate guys pulling bloody weapons in front of kids."
Dropped the classic line, lightly patting Sun Quan's head.
"Ah, ah...!"
Sun Quan looked flustered at the touch.
"Plus, we're in the middle of fun house play. Rude to crash the party."
Hated interlopers barging in like they owned the place while folks were enjoying themselves.
"...See? My taste in men never fails."
Bu Yonghwa watched with some warm, inexplicable glow.
"Sigh... Knew I disliked you from first sight."
Xu Rong scowled, waving dismissively.
Clank.
The Xiliang goons drew polearms, encircling us.
See? Shit hits fan, they swarm.
"Fine!!! Bring it all!!!"
I roared, yanking my sword free.
"Quan, eyes shut."
Bu Yonghwa quickly covered Sun Quan's eyes and backed off.
Meanwhile, Dong Zhuo was chugging booze in her underwear, nursing her rage.
Why she had blatantly modern undies in the Three Kingdoms world? Whatever, gloss over it.
"Goddamn....!"
She was pissed. She'd seen this as her big break—boldly vowing to hunt Yellow Turbans for glory—only to botch it with a pathetic showing. Heung Bo-song and Zhu Jun barely bailed her out; she was lucky to be alive. That was her reality now. Eunuch bribes would dodge punishment, but promotion? Fat chance. Even those creeps couldn't erase a humiliating loss.
Lost in bitter thoughts, she drank mechanically, one gulp after another.
The nearby Xiliang soldiers trembled, steering clear. Approaching a boozed-up Dong Zhuo? Suicide. Some poor grunt had wandered too close last time and got beaten to death.
"Xu Rong!!!"
She eyed her cowering men with disdain, then hit on a way to vent.
'That Kim guy from Liu Bei's side... pretty hot.' Something about his sharp edge hit her tastes. Mood in the dumps—might as well fuck a guy. The thought slipped in unbidden as she bellowed for her adjutant.
"Xu Rong!!!!"
Xu Rong hustled in at the shout.
"Yes, my lord."
He snapped to attention with a fist salute, face grave.
'Hmph. What a doofus face.'
Dong Zhuo smirked. Xu Rong played it cool, but his eyes raked her body with feverish heat. She knew damn well he carried a torch for her. Just wasn't her type, so she ignored it.
"Go fetch that Kim."
Blunt as ever.
"...Kim, my lord?"
Jealous sparks flickered in Xu Rong's eyes.
"Yeah. Hurry up. Feeling down—need to hug a man."
She waved him off.
Humans get jealous, sure—but a guy's jealousy had this way of killing a woman's interest. Jealous men? Total turn-off.
"....Understood."
Xu Rong muttered, swallowing his ire, and stormed out of the tent.
"Huuu...."
Anticipation of wrapping around Kim heating her up? Dong Zhuo shivered, idly stroking her thigh.