Finally Meeting the Heroes (7)
"Hot!!!"
Suddenly, the twin-tailed TS beauty Xiahou Dun came swinging her spear at me like a maniac. Shiiik!!! You can't even try talking if you're dead first. Panting hard, I immediately drew my sword from its sheath. I'd thought it was just a somewhat dangerous battlefield and gotten careless about unsheathing it.
Kiggit!! Chaaang!!! The half-drawn blade clashed with her spear, grinding with a screech. If I'd been even a bit slower pulling the sword, I'd have been skewered like a human donut.
Chaaang!! Taking a deep breath, I fully drew the sword and backpedaled.
"Hot!! Not bad!! Huh?"
Xiahou Dun laughed as she reset her stance. Whoosh whoosh. She mixed feints and real strikes while swinging her spear, throwing off my pattern recognition with the motion. Just like spear users in the game.
"Dun sis!! This guy.....he's not wearing a yellow scarf.....so he's not a Yellow Turban, right?"
At that moment, the hesitant blue-haired twin-tailed beauty behind her piped up cautiously.
"Yuan!! If some guy's wandering a battlefield like this rummaging through corpses, it's obvious!! He's a bandit!"
Xiahou Dun barked back.
"Ehey!!! I'm just an upstanding citizen!!"
I immediately launched into a defense. And then...
[Persuasion: 2]
...a pathetic stat floated up in my status window. What the hell. Status window. You picking on me?
[Persuasion failed outright]
We're screwed. This is bad.
"Well, looks like even the Yellow Turbans had some decent ones. To block this Yuanrang Xiahou Dun's spear!!"
Xiahou Dun's eyes gleamed as she kicked her spear up. Flutter. Her twin tails whipped around dynamically with the motion. Hmm. Twin-tailed beauties aren't bad at all. As long as they're not charging to kill me.
"Seriously... no helping it."
Even Xiahou Yuan, who seemed somewhat reasonable, nocked an arrow and took her stance. Hey. Don't give up on talking already. No one around to save me. Guess I'd have to make do somehow.
'Gotta survive no matter what...!'
Not the fondest memories, but I was pretty attached to this world. It had a freedom you couldn't get in civilized society, or something. I liked it here.
'Boss fight with Xiahou Dun and Xiahou Yuan, huh.'
Both were elite named generals in Cao Cao's army. And they often stuck together, so fighting them as a duo boss wasn't rare. There was even a related challenge: kill both Xiahou Dun and Xiahou Yuan. Think it was called "Family Mourning" or something.
Xiahou Dun was a basic spear melee fighter; Xiahou Yuan shot arrows from range or swung a sword up close if you got in her face—agile type. Simple as that.
Cao Cao's Army
Level 15
Cao Cao's Army
Level 15
Luckily, it was early in the Yellow Turban Rebellion, so their levels weren't high. Stronger than regular Level 15 Yellow Turbans, but nowhere near Guan Yu. Look at Guan Yu or Zhang Fei—Level 30 elites. Just seeing them chokes you up. Makes me appreciate even more how badass Kim was for going toe-to-toe with Guan Yu. Awesome! Me!!
Classic tag-team boss: Xiahou Dun slashes up close while Xiahou Yuan provides ranged support. Gamers know this. Duo bosses are a pain. But who am I? A hardcore vet who'd stuck with this dead game. I'd even posted strategies online for them. No one cared since the playerbase had ghosted.
"Hahat!! Look at him spacing out!! Come at me!!"
The moment Xiahou Dun charged, I closed in and blocked with my sword. Kept her at a distance where Xiahou Yuan couldn't easily shoot or close for melee—eyeballed it. 'Feels real, but it follows game logic to a degree.'
Bodies were tough like in the game, fights played out with the same motions. Game rules were physics here. So... my conclusion was simple.
'Play it like the game.'
Standard strategy it was. Solid hit feedback for an open-world action game, but it never broke its design limits. So stick to that.
Common trait for archer swaps like Xiahou Yuan: they switch based on distance. Close enough, melee mode; back off a bit, arrows fly. Problem? The distance trigger was too obvious. In that awkward in-between range, they glitch out. Pace back and forth, they'd fumble drawing sword then bow, wasting time.
So first move: close the gap.
Chaaang-! Chaeng-! Chajaeng-!!
Betting Xiahou Yuan would freeze, I focused on Xiahou Dun. Sure enough.
Xiahou Yuan looked indecisive, raising and lowering her bow with a panicked face.
"Ah, sis... he closed in so suddenly.... arrow? No... if I hit sis.... sword? But if sis's spear hits me...."
She hesitated massively, just watching.
"...Is he even a bandit? Doesn't seem like a Yellow Turban...."
And bam, golden answer. No. If you're gonna monologue, stop your sis... But things were too hectic to say it.
Chaaang!! I parried Xiahou Dun's spear thrusts one by one, steadying my stance. Hitting Level 10 and grinding some stats meant stamina drained slower. And she was weaker than the Guan Yu I'd fought.
"Ngh...!! Yuan!! What're you doing!!"
Xiahou Dun bellowed.
"Sis blocked my arrow shot... you want an arrow in the back?"
Sass to her own sis! Sister Cola!
"Argh!! Don't need your help!! I'll end this quick!"
Xiahou Dun went berserk, charging and swinging wildly. 'Here it comes!' I'd waited for this pattern! That big vertical spear thrust. Powerful, but left her open if blocked.
Whoooosh. As the spearhead flashed, I slammed the front of the shaft down aiming for her wrist.
Chaeng. Spear dipped low; following up, I swung at her head like a wrist strike combo.
"Die!!!"
She struck first—fair game if she died!! Time for some giant-killing!! With that resolve, I slashed.
'Level 15 elite... doable!!'
Later she'd be a monster, but right now? Just a thug from the boonies. Kill window's now!!
"Ngh...!!"
Xiahou Dun flinched back, neck craning with all her might. Even now, she had room to dodge seeing the sword.
"S-Sis!!"
Finally deciding, Xiahou Yuan drew her sword and charged. Shiiiiiik!!!
My extreme eastern sword slashed deep across Xiahou Dun's chest armor. 'Too shallow.' No telltale flesh-cut feel.
Shiiit. It'd sliced her armor. Didn't expect it to just flutter off like magic, but Dao Ran-ajusshi's extreme eastern sword was insane.
Shrak. The armor split clean, exposing her front. And from overextending to retreat? It unraveled completely. Cartoonish plot twist!!! Like Barbaric Man, baring her skin refreshingly.
"Hnguk!!!"
Xiahou Dun froze, feeling the cool breeze on her skin. 'No. Underwear's too much.' Old-style undies I'd buy, but this? Modern bra and panties. Shoving otaku modeling into Romance of the Three Kingdoms—every detail was unhinged.
"S-Sis!!"
Xiahou Yuan rushed to her, trying to cover up somehow.
"Y-You... vile...!!!"
Xiahou Dun teared up, then grabbed her spear standing.
"W-Wait!! Sis, like that? L-Let's retreat first. Or call reinforcements...."
Xiahou Yuan eyed her sis like she was hopeless.
"Argh!!! Can't forgive this!!! Come on!!! Let's go 50 bouts today!!! I'll repay this humiliation!!"
Xiahou Dun went full berserker, spinning her spear in her undies like mad and charging.
"Seriously... can't stop my sis...!"
Xiahou Yuan sighed. Thought the shame would cool her head, but Xiahou Dun's stubbornness was no joke.
'Fuck.' Another do-or-die close call? As I raised my sword thinking that—
"Kim!! You okay?!!"
"Kim!! We're here!!"
Familiar voices from afar.
Rumble rumble!!! The entire Liu Bei volunteer army charged like maniacs. Kinda like the Addams Family opening.
'Lunch break from Liu Bei crew failed.' Planned to vanish while they were gone, but they came quicker than expected. Still, glad to see 'em. Solo was rough.
"There he is!!!"
"Save Kim first!! Then exterminate the Yellow Turbans and help Lord Beizhonglang retreat safely!!"
Liu Bei issued crisp orders, drawing his sword. He led, others matching stride... but a green flash rocketed ahead.
"Kim!! How dare you to our Kim..!!!"
Guan Yu leaped with her crescent blade, eyes blazing fury. Her hair seemed to ripple with rage too.
"W-Wait...?!!"
Xiahou Dun looked like she'd recalibrated her threat level. Facing a lunatic swinging that crescent blade wildly, she awkwardly raised her spear.
Whoooosh. Guan Yu vs. Xiahou Dun. Never happened canonically, but huge in fanworks. Both showed insane loyalty to their lords. But here? Weight class gap was huge.
Cha-geeeeng!!!!! Guan Yu's crescent blade cleaved Xiahou Dun's spear shaft clean.
"Hng... hyaat...."
Xiahou Dun collapsed like a girl, will broken. Xiahou Yuan hugged her trembling sis.
"Kim!! You're not hurt?!!"
Guan Yu slapped my shoulder, then shook me vigorously. She doted hardcore on favorites... but sis's love was scary.
"I was worried."
Then she smiled sweetly, petting my head. Yeah. That smile's pretty. Healed by the maternal grin.
Anyway, my brief clash with Xiahou Dun ended. Felt less like my win... but I landed a clean hit on her. Judging by me.
Guan Yu's stare got heavy; averting my eyes, I spotted Xiahou Dun's shame. The ground where she slumped was damp. Yeah. Pretend I didn't see that.
"But, these two Yellow Turbans?"
Zhang Fei asked the shivering sisters flatly.
"W-What?! We're imperial troops!!"
Xiahou Dun yelled.
"We're under General Huangfu Song!! You guys are...."
Xiahou Yuan eyed us warily.
"We're volunteers."
I glared back. No way I'd feel friendly to sudden attackers.
"Ah."
"Ah."
Xiahou Dun and Xiahou Yuan looked instantly sorry. These fucking bitches.