Discussion of Heroes (5)
Suddenly, blades were drawn, turning the atmosphere tense and murderous.
Liu Bei diffused the mood with a smile as gentle as a mountain breeze.
"Very well. Since it's the Chancellor's command, of course we must go."
Liu Bei flashed a bright smile, then added one more thing.
"However... I've lived such a harsh life that I feel uneasy without guards. May I bring my brothers along?"
Liu Bei said.
"That would require approv—"
Just as He Ju tried to object, Zhen Wei cut him off.
"Hm. Our lord feels the same way. One guard is fine."
Zhen Wei seemed more reasonable than He Ju.
"Then I'll bring my brother Kim Gong."
Liu Bei suddenly pointed at me.
"No, brother. Let me go instea—"
Zhang Fei tried to interrupt.
"No. This time, I'll take Kim Gong."
Liu Bei had unexpectedly decided to bring me.
'As long as Liu Bei doesn't screw up, we won't die.'
No matter how much of a chancellor he was, he wouldn't openly slaughter Liu Bei and me in broad daylight.
"Mm..."
Zhen Wei stared at me intently.
"Kim Gong and I are like fish and water, inseparable. I ask for your understanding."
Liu Bei said with a smile.
"Hahaha. Fish and water, eh? In that case."
Zhen Wei spoke expressionlessly, then nodded slightly. He seemed to permit it.
By the way, fish and water? That was an idiom Liu Bei originally used for Zhuge Liang, but I never expected him to use it on me.
And so, Liu Bei and I strolled through the government offices of Xu Capital amid unease.
The atmosphere in the capital was like a funeral home. No, even that would have been better. It was utterly bloodthirsty.
Clunk.
Soldiers were methodically hauling horribly mutilated corpses. Blood splattered their bodies.
"Those bodies..."
Liu Bei started to ask, but He Ju and Zhen Wei didn't answer.
"Traitors tried to assassinate the loyal chancellor of the Han court. There was a poisoning attempt. We're interrogating that Wang Zibao fellow, so forgive the mess."
"I see."
Liu Bei's expression hardened.
'Ah, he's spooked.'
After the hunting contest, the poisoned Liu Xie had frequently summoned Liu Bei under the guise of bedside visits—probably to conspire.
A short while later.
From a high pavilion in Xu Capital, Cao Cao, standing tall, waved at Liu Bei.
"Xuan De, my brother. And... haha, isn't this the Tiger-Slaying General, Kim Gong?"
Cao Cao descended the stairs with a laugh.
Perhaps from dragging Wang Zibao's blood-soaked body after the recent poisoning attempt on himself—the stairs were drenched in blood. Walking down without a hint of it showing gave off an eerie horror vibe.
Even I, who could slice people well enough, felt a strong sense of alienation from this everyday scene laced with slaughter.
By the way,
"You called me the Tiger-Slaying General."
What was that nickname?
"Haha. Your feat of beheading that tiger has spread across the realm. So I, Cao Mengde, personally named you: the hero who slew the tiger, Tiger-Slaying General. I considered fancier words, but simple and direct suits it best."
Cao Cao said with a laugh.
A nickname... It had the effect of other characters calling you by it once earned, but that was about it.
"Chancellor, forgive me. I had to come alone, but... I feel uneasy without Kim Gong."
Liu Bei immediately apologized preemptively.
"Hahaha. No matter. A chat is better with more people."
Cao Cao chuckled and led us along.
------
The scene of sipping tea on the pavilion made for quite the picture. The surroundings were gloomy, and a drizzle began to fall, but even that added charm.
"The floor's still bloody; couldn't clean it yet. That traitor... poisoned my medicine. Interrogating him delayed me. My subordinate Man Chong handles things thoroughly, but... sometimes he overdoes it."
Cao Cao took a sip of tea, then looked at Liu Bei.
"With rain falling and clouds veiling the sun, it feels like a dragon might ascend. The weather was like this back then, they say."
Cao Cao smirked, then fixed Liu Bei with burning eyes.
"Do you know the tales of dragons, Xuan De? As described in the classics."
Cao Cao stared only at Liu Bei.
"Haha... My learning is shallow, so I..."
Liu Bei trailed off. Okay. Just keep playing defense like that.
"Dragons, you see, freely change their size. They roam vast oceans beneath the heavens, or shrink to earthworm length in puddles. That's a dragon."
Cao Cao stated with conviction.
"Fascinating."
Liu Bei's face was a precarious poker face. He couldn't grasp why Cao Cao was suddenly rambling about dragons. Even if it was just a dragon fanatic geeking out, it felt like an interrogation.
"Dragons don't exist, of course. So I see them as metaphor. Dragons mean heroes. That's what Cao Mengde thinks."
"Heroes..."
"Let's discuss who in this realm qualifies as a hero now."
Cao Cao launched into the famous hero discussion from Romance. Iconic scene.
"Haha... Well."
"You haven't wandered the realm as a vagrant, Xuan De. Surely you have convictions."
"None other than you, Chancellor."
Instant ass-kiss activated.
"Uhahat!! Obviously, next."
Cao Cao calmly accepted the praise and demanded more. That confidence... Honestly, as a man, it was cool. Peak alpha male. Kinda admirable.
"Then what of Yuan Shao, ruler of the north?"
"Ha. Big body, rotten inside. Can't even manage his loosening subordinates. I'll devour him soon."
Cao Cao crunched a snack.
"Then Yuan Shu, who gave you trouble..."
"Already offered his head to Sun Jian. Lacks the skill to escape crises. Obituary soon. Conquering Xu Province will come down to Sun Jian."
"Speaking of, Sun Jian..."
"Sun Jian. Ha. A tiger, sure. But only fit to rule Jiangdong. What else can a tiger do besides fight?"
"..."
Liu Bei stared at Cao Cao with a troubled expression, unsure what answer he wanted.
"Elder Liu Jing Sheng of Jing Province has virtue..."
"Ha. Body old, mind old, outdated. Next. Dahhhm!"
Damn. Liu Bei sighed, entering a whatever-happens-happens mode.
"Elder Liu Zhang of Yi Province inherited Yi from his father and made it prosperous..."
"Liu Zhang? Who's that? Never leaves Yi, so I wouldn't know."
In the end, not a single warlord qualified.
"I cannot fathom your deep intent, Chancellor. Who is the hero?"
Liu Bei stared straight at Cao Cao.
"Ha!! Who is the hero, the dragon? The answer is clear."
Oh. Here it comes. That moment...!
"The heroes of the realm are this Cao Mengde and Liu Xuande!!! No one else!!"
Cao Cao bellowed.
Truly exceptional and self-proclaimed greatest under heaven, Cao Cao openly acknowledging him was huge. He was straight-up suspicious and wary of Liu Bei. This revealed it.
Cao Cao watched Liu Bei's reaction. Any slip here, and we'd both end up as dew on the execution ground, ears only.
Rumble.
Thunder growled in the distance. I focused on Liu Bei, awaiting his response.
But... his reaction was off.
"Uh, uh. Uhhh... Huhuhuh..."
Liu Bei was practically Botch Bei, visibly frozen and trembling. No. Damn it. Liu Bei, why's your improv this bad? Did you break?
The moment Cao Cao's eyes narrowed, I realized it was kill time.
No choice.
Rumble!!!
Lightning struck from the dark sky.
Now...!!
"Kkiyaaaak!!!!"
I screamed in perfect startled panic. Lightning... so scary!!! I channeled max trauma from getting owned by the character Choi Lightning in King of Fighters at the arcade.
Thanks to my scream, Liu Bei caught the timing to react too.
"Oh, oh dear...!"
Liu Bei dropped his chopsticks and startled along with me.
"My, you dropped your chopsticks."
Cao Cao smiled at Liu Bei.
"Even a tiger-fearing hero fears lightning? Kim Gong. Haha."
Cao Cao laughed at my maximally shocked face.
"Where I'm from, no lightning strikes... Not used to it. Haha."
I bullshitted an excuse.
"I startled because of Kim Gong's scream. Haha."
Liu Bei followed up.
"Uhahat!!! Fun!! Everyone fears something—one or two things. Kim Gong fears lightning, Lord Xuan De fears shouts."
Cao Cao chuckled and stood.
The mood had passed smoothly enough.
"What does Lord Meng De fear?"
Then Liu Bei asked Cao Cao. Dude. Liu Bei. Just go home. Why ask more?
"What this Cao Mengde fears?"
Cao Cao looked at Liu Bei.
"What I fear... the heavens."
Cao Cao said meaningfully.
"This Liu Xuan De fears the heavens too."
Liu Bei matched meaningfully. By the way, his earlobes really are round and pretty. Might end up seeing just those.
"Haha. Indeed."
And so, the sweet-and-sour tea time with Cao Cao nearly ended... but he stopped us again. No. What now?
"By the way, since we mentioned heaven... This Cao Mengde plans to punish heaven-defying traitors."
Cao Cao looked our way.
"Traitors, you say..."
Liu Bei asked.
"Li Jue and Guo Si... Tried to deal with them, but infighting shattered their forces. Fan Chou got killed in the mix. Zhang Ji, who chased our emperor, died to arrows while plundering Jing Province Castle. But remnants remain. The Xiliang troops following them still illegally occupy His Majesty's proud lands under Zhang Ji's brother Zhang Su."
Cao Cao's proposal was unexpected.
"I'm busy with court affairs. I want you to handle purging these Han traitors."
Cao Cao gave us a surprise quest.
"My son Cao Ang and cousin Cao Anmin are still young. Go to the front with them... and teach them about the battlefield."
Cao Cao commissioned us to subjugate Zhang Su.
'Usually Xu Province reclamation comes first...'
Maybe because Lu Bu's movements changed. Cao Cao prioritized Zhang Su over Xu.
'And throwing us into the subjugation force.'
He himself wasn't going either.
'Damn. Hell mode.'
Even Cao Cao nearly died in that brutal op—he was deploying us there. Difficulty spiked to hard mode.