Chapter 12
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 12
Chapter Title: The Barbarian Couple's Physique is the Pinnacle of Creation (2)
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"Truth be told... our family has been mending clothes for the northern front soldiers for generations."
Senior Altar Priest Clozer spoke up.
"During wartime, we gripped our needles with our lives on the line. But when the war ended and peace came... do you know what those bastards in the capital called us? 'Northern backwater tailors.'"
His fists trembled with rage.
Years of being looked down upon by the soft city folk who only sewed dresses for noble ladies in the safety of the capital.
That inferiority complex and fury were exploding right now.
"And here before my eyes is a man with the most perfect physique in imperial history... and he's heading into the empire's heartland, that arrogant capital."
The senior altar priest looked up at me.
Though he should have been a mere merchant, his eyes burned only with the gaze of an artist eager to unveil his masterpiece to the world—and a gambler staking it all.
"I'll embroider... the name of our Clozer family onto this garment."
"......"
"Those hollow shells in the capital will gape in shock when they see this outfit. This is my revenge—and my proof!"
He pressed the behemoth leather against my chest and shouted.
"I don't need money! No labor fee either! Just let me engrave our family crest into the lining."
"Um... sir, calm down...."
"Wear this and trample those capital snobs! With that magnificent body of yours!"
His impassioned cry had the other altar priests around us raising their fists with "Ooooh!"
The soldier customers in the shop had joined in as one, cheering, "Show 'em! The might of the borderlands!"
I glanced at Kara with a dazed expression.
She shrugged with a 'this is fun' look on her face and mouthed,
'It's free? Just let 'em do it.'
Well, the behemoth leather's quality was too tempting to refuse anyway.
And more than that, 'free' struck a chord in a barbarian's practical heart.
I had no idea what the Eisen Baron would say later, but good was good.
"Alright. Since you're making it, please make it sturdy. But..."
The moment I gave permission, the altar priests charged at me with cheers, not even pretending to hear the rest.
"Alright! Retake the measurements! Not a millimeter of error allowed!"
"Get the needles! Special behemoth ones!"
The border town's tailor shop turned into a blazing furnace in an instant.
"Wait, hold on a sec."
That's when I remembered the biggest issue.
"Thing is, our schedule...."
Our travel and stay were entirely up to our sponsor, the Eisen Baron.
I didn't know when the carriages would be ready or when we'd depart.
I'd clearly said earlier we couldn't stay long.
"Hey! Call the mage! We need mana infusion to temper the leather!"
"Draft the patterns! Now!"
We were doomed.
My voice wasn't reaching the artisans whose eyes had rolled back in frenzy.
Ding-a-ling-!
The shop door swung open cheerily, and a familiar voice rang out.
"Mr. Barg, Ms. Kara. Have you picked out some clot—hup!"
It was the Eisen Baron, back from arranging the carriages.
But he clapped a hand over his mouth the instant he stepped in.
The shop was pure chaos.
Torn fabric scraps littered the floor, and altar priests swarmed my bare back like ants, chanting spells.
Above all, what caught the baron's eye was Senior Altar Priest Clozer's behavior.
He was on his knees at my feet, clutching my pant leg and sobbing.
"Hwahhh! Please! Just once!"
"......What in the world is going on here?"
The Eisen Baron adjusted his glasses and asked me.
His eyes held a reasonable suspicion: 'Did Mr. Barg finally snap?'
I shrugged innocently.
"Baron, sir, don't misunderstand. This old man just suddenly—"
Before I could finish, the senior altar priest crawled on his knees toward the baron.
"Baron! You're the Eisen Baron, right? Please, I beg you!"
"Beg me for what?"
"One day... no, just five hours! Give me five hours! I'll stake my life to finish this garment!"
The senior altar priest pleaded with a resolute face.
"The pants... sob, I'll yield the pants to 'Eisen Guard.' But the top! Let me finish this behemoth top with my own hands! For my family's honor, I'll create a masterpiece for the ages!"
"Be... behemoth, you say?"
The baron's gaze shifted to the black fabric on the table.
As an administrator, he knew the value of goods better than most.
Having grasped the situation instantly, the baron's eyes narrowed.
'This man's lost it for real.'
Witnessing the artisan's madness, the Eisen Baron fell silent for a moment.
All eyes in the shop turned to him.
I scratched my head awkwardly.
"I did mention our schedule was tight, but they wouldn't listen. I think it's up to you to decide, Baron."
The Eisen Baron pulled a silver pocket watch from his pocket.
Click.
The lid opened, and the ticking of the hour and minute hands sounded unusually loud.
"Hmm... five hours."
He checked the time with a deliberately grave expression, and the senior altar priest stared at his lips, barely breathing.
He looked ready to bite his tongue if refused.
A moment later.
Snap.
The Eisen Baron closed the watch and chuckled.
"Perfect timing. The market's on anyway."
"......Pardon?"
"There's an amazing restaurant nearby. I've been a regular since 25 years ago. By the time we enjoy a leisurely meal there... it'll be just right."
The baron's cool approval lit the senior altar priest's face with joy.
"Th-thank you! Baron! Thank you!"
"But five hours exactly. One minute late, and we leave without you."
"Don't worry! Four hours and 59 minutes, done!"
The senior altar priest sprang up and bellowed toward the workshop.
"You heard him! Everyone, to work! No bathroom breaks! No food! No water!"
"Waaaaah!"
The altar priests moved with military precision, roaring battle cries.
Mana stones out, needles heating—it was like a battlefield.
The Eisen Baron shook his head and beckoned Kara and me.
"Let's go. We'll get sewn up too if we stay."
We left the madhouse behind and exited the shop.
Shouts of "Stitch tighter there!" and "Amp the mana!" faded into background music at our backs.
Thus began our first meal in the border town, leaving the feverish heat behind.
"Phew... we survived."
The moment we stepped out, I let out a sigh of relief.
The altar priests' frenzied yells and mana-tempering sounds still echoed from behind.
The Eisen Baron had muttered, "See you in five hours then. I'll confirm the restaurant reservation," and bolted.
He was clearly spooked by the madness too.
The border town's chill wind blew through the streets, far more refreshing than the shop's inferno.
"Barg, how do I look? Not weird?"
Kara asked shyly beside me.
I turned to gaze at my lovely wife.
And lost my words for a moment.
"......"
She wore an imperial army simplified uniform, freshly tailored.
Originally a men's officer uniform.
But reformed perfectly to her figure by the altar priests' divine hands.
The black fabric contrasted her pale skin, creating an even more bewitching aura.
A cinched waistline, elegant hip flare.
Plus her barbarian wildness—it was like a Valkyrie goddess descended to the battlefield from myth.
Overwhelming visuals that had passersby stealing glances.
Meanwhile, I'd surrendered my top to the priests and wore a massive dark gray hooded robe borrowed from the shop.
Like haphazardly draped bear hide—rough and rugged.
I chuckled and wrapped an arm around Kara's waist.
"Wow... honey, you look just like an imperial knight commander. Too cool, aren't you?"
"Really?"
"Yeah. With me next to you, it's perfect. The majestic knight and the bandit chief she's dragging from the woods."
Kara blushed at my tease and poked my side.
"Don't tease. This thing's so tight it's embarrassing enough."
She gently stroked her belly with a worried look.
"It's fine now, but... by the time we reach the academy, my belly might pop out and I won't be able to wear it."
Early pregnancy meant no bump yet, but soon this fitted uniform wouldn't work.
But I nodded with relief.
"Good."
"What is?"
"Truth is, I hate other guys staring. I want you looking only at me."
I pretended to scan around seriously.
Soldiers passing by were indeed gawking at Kara.
I shot them 'she's mine' glares and whispered in her ear,
"And... when your belly swells a bit later, that'll be even sexier."
"......!"
Kara's ears turned beet red.
"Wh-what! Seriously! You're even cheesier than before!"
She smacked my back but couldn't hide the smile spreading on her lips.
We linked arms and strolled the border town's streets.
Unfamiliar sights, unfamiliar faces.
But the warmth of our clasped hands was familiar and cozy.
Even a headache-inducing five-hour wait was just sweet date time with my beloved wife.
The same moment.
Across the street from where the barbarian couple walked.
A fancy two-story terrace café.
There sat a thoroughly sulky boy.
Luxurious black hair, arrogant eyes.
Still boyish, but his innate nobility was no joke.
Kairun von Northguard, son of the Northguard Grand Duke.
Clink.
He slammed his teacup down irritably.
"Damn it, what kind of border inspection is this? It's just a picnic."
Kairun grumbled in annoyance.
Heavily armed escort knights surrounded him like an iron wall.
"Young master, lower your voice. Eyes are watching."
"Let 'em watch! Can't I speak freely on my own land?"
Kairun pouted.
The inspection was justified as pre-academy military prep for military studies.
But this wasn't the border tour he'd dreamed of.
Climbing the massive wall, viewing snowy wastes teeming with savage beasts and barbarians.
Wielding his sword against monsters in heroic adventure.
Reality was overprotection incarnate.
'Young master, the wall's too windy and dangerous.'
'Too much dust there, stay away.'
'Barbarians are risky, don't go near.'
Trapped in a safe city café, sipping the black tea he'd had enough of back home.
"Boring. Dull. I'm dying of tedium!"
Kairun propped his chin, staring blankly down at the terrace below.
Passersby were all drab-uniformed soldiers.
No glamorous capital ladies, not even eye candy in this barren town.
"...I wanna go home."
As he sighed and turned away—
Swipe.
Something pierced his listless gaze.
The sole shining existence in the gray streets.
"......!"
Kairun's eyes widened.
A woman walking the street.
Jet-black uniform, silver hair fluttering in the wind.
A hulking man in sacking beside her, but Kairun didn't see him.
Only her.
Thump-!
Heart-dropping shock.
The world seemed to slow.
Classic romance fantasy love-at-first-sight tropes forcibly played in Kairun's mind.
Falling at first sight.
Trite words fell short.
The original novel The Bastard's Snowflower Path activating 「Fate's Compulsion」 to correct its twisted trajectory.
'...Beautiful.'
Kairun murmured, entranced.
A feral allure absent in the capital's overdressed ladies.
Yet an untouchable nobility.
The border romance he'd dreamed of.
The adventure.
All in that woman.
Her fierce vitality blasted open his stifled, overprotected heart. His pulse raced.
"Th-that... woman...."
Kairun shot to his feet.
The chair toppled; escorts rushed over in alarm.
"Young master? What's wrong?"
"Outta my way! I have to... follow that woman!"
Kairun gripped the railing, leaning out.
His eyes gleamed with predator's obsession for prey.
Perhaps at a timing similar to the original plot.
And with a now-married target.
But fate ignored setting errors, forcing them together anyway.
The gears of fateful enmity ground and turned once more.