A Simple Thought Experiment on the Realistic Limitations of National Welfare

Let's conduct a very simple thought experiment on the realistic limitations of national welfare systems. First, imagine your house has collapsed, and the person who caused it—the landlord—is standing right in front of you. What would you do?

Most people would react like this.

Me: "What the fuck? What... what the hell is this?! What the hell happened?!"

Landlord: "Haha, whoa... calm down a bit... I'll compensate you for the damages, so let's have a healthy, constructive conversation... haha."

Me: "Calm down?! The fuck you mean 'calm down'? You crazy son of a— (etc.)"

If you were a swordmaster of the rule of law, you'd act like this.

Landlord: "Haha, whoa, calm down first..."

Me: "I'm suing your ass."

Landlord: "Wha... what?!"

Me: "I'm filing charges."

Landlord: "Gaaahhh!!!"

And if you were a modern-day bourgeois, you'd go like this.

Me: "Oh my god, no way...! My 308th mansion has collapsed...!"

Landlord: "Ugh... you're so angry and wronged...!"

Me: "This rage won't subside unless I indulge in the head chef's specialty desserts in a five-star hotel suite...!"

Landlord: "Sebastian! Bring my 12th limousine! We must head to the hotel right now!!"

Sebastian: "Yes, sir!"

So, what would Seol Yuna—not an "ordinary person," not a "lawyer," and not a "modern bourgeois" (though I might not qualify, so counterarguments welcome)—do in this situation?

Landlord: "Hahaha... the house collapsed due to unclear liability between landlord and tenant!"

Seol Yuna: "M-meooow...?"

Landlord: "I'll make a slight concession as the owner! I'll roughly calculate the deposit and compensation and put it in your account someday! Let's end the lease here!"

Seol Yuna: "T-teok...?"

Landlord: "I'll take that as agreement! Take care now! Hahaha!"

Seol Yuna: "Severe punishment..."

Some might hear this thought experiment and think, "What kind of bullshit is this?" Even if Seol Yuna suffers from severe social anxiety, social deficiency syndrome (commonly called "total loser"), is a hardcore VTuber fanboy, a young clip editor, and claims Asperger's—how could something like this actually happen?

But it did happen.

A week after the house collapsed.

Not only has no compensation arrived in my account—not even the deposit... my entire fortune is gone... and now I'm in debt.

"I'm fucked..."

I truly realized it. This moment was right on the brink of my life going completely dick-shaped...

===

No matter how much Seol Yuna has social anxiety, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠social deficiency (excerpt)... she wouldn't act that stupidly even in this situation.

The moment the house collapsed and the landlord bolted, I immediately sought swift help from the national administrative system and the swordmasters of the rule of law... but the results were disastrous.

The police said: "...We'll contact you once the investigation is complete."

Turns out the landlord was a notorious real estate scammer. He's a pro at hiding, so the investigation will take time.

The lawyer said: "...Th-this isn't even a legally registered address."

The place I lived turned out not to be a real residence. It was an illegal structure, a fake listing. Hard to get legal help in this situation.

The civil servant said: "Um... your residency registration is listed elsewhere, so we need to correct that first before we can assist..."

There was a fake residency registration, so I had to fix that—which takes a week. Then another week for housing support.

And now, a week later: "Um... there's been an administrative issue..."

Some bureaucratic snag came up, and the civil servant said they couldn't help.

"Ah, you should probably contact ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the Korea Legal Aid Corporation or the Anti-Corruption & Civil Rights Commission..."

They told me to file a complaint elsewhere... but...

"...I have 289 won in my account right now."

"..."

"...How am I supposed to survive on that until then?"

"I'm sorry..."

We both knew it was realistically impossible. The civil servant sincerely apologized and even offered to pitch in from their own pocket if I gave them my account info—but I had to refuse. No matter how fucked I was, my conscience couldn't let me take money from a newbie welfare worker who earns less than minimum wage.

...Now, with about 30 minutes until motel checkout.

What could I do? There was one thing left.

I immediately opened my smartphone and went to the grad student gallery.

A barrage of likes crashing in like wham and a flood of comments.

"Kuh... kuhehe..."

I let out a vile chuckle at the sight.

"Kuhuhu... kahaha...!"

Behold, you lowly gallery vermin! A true Likeable Fixed Nick like me turns even shitposts like this into featured posts in seconds. This is the difference in our "like" power... Something you gallery dwellers can't ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠achieve no matter how much you study and shitpost all day... Unless you get a master's from Seoul U, a PhD from MIT ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠like me, study new papers obsessively every day, and burn your life away shitposting from an illegal attic with no fixed address...!

"Ka-hat! Kahahat...! Kuh, kuheuk... euhhuk..."

It didn't take long for the vile laughter to turn into wretched sobs.

You know that? In a truly fucked situation, even escapism becomes impossible?

I really didn't want to know that.

"The world is screwing me over, fuck..."

The darker things got, the more I envied the now-deceased Seol Yujin.

"Sniff... Unlike Seol Yujin, I don't have a best friend who's a politician's son to sic the authorities on scammers..."

"Sniff... Unlike Seol Yujin, my advisor prof isn't a real estate tycoon, so I can't just get a place to crash..."

"Sniff... Unlike Seol Yujin, my connections aren't global CEO bigshots, so I can't borrow massive cash interest-free..."

Because I'm not Seol Yujin...

Euhhuk...

While I was bawling my eyes out on the motel bed, brrr—a notification chimed.

"Eek."

It was Kang Nari-nim-nim-nim herself.

I hastily fixed my insolent sprawl on the bed, kneeling piously on the floor.

How dare I listen to a noble one's words from the comfort of a bed!

"Wh-what do I do...?"

But despite the pious posture, I was utterly flustered. I'd never expected contact like this.

Of course, contact info is for communication, and she'd occasionally suggested staying in touch... but getting Kang Nari-nim-nim-nim's number was like enshrining a holy relic in my phone—not for actual use.

How could a worthless worm like me steal a noble one's time...!

My situation was like a Roman soldier witnessing Jesus' resurrection. He'd confirmed the death, vaguely heard about rising in three days—but who could've predicted it for real? And he couldn't just go, "Nah, don't actually resurrect ;;" and turn his spear into another Spear of Longinus.

"Wh-what do I even do...?"

Too panicked to think straight, I just hesitated... when more messages came.

"Seolkiya—!!!"

I couldn't forgive myself for making Kang Nari-nim-nim-nim shed tears, so I frantically typed a reply.

It was excessively deferential, and while Seol Yuna patted herself on the back for crafting it so quickly...

Kang Nari read it, freaked out massively, and immediately called. As a "Christian" corporate VTuber and selective lesbian whose father was a church pastor, it was her minimum duty.