Primal Standoff in the Scalaiive Office
The experimental results comparing the similarities between beasts and social recluses showed that rejecting outsiders is an ancient tradition and instinct passed down from primitive times. In fact, during the Middle Ages, deliberately ignoring outsiders or blaming them for massive disasters like natural calamities was something seen extremely commonly in actual history. Institutional and cultural mechanisms like anti-discrimination laws and multiculturalism have indeed helped smooth the integration of outsiders. But even as the era changes, people don't. Humanity still rejects and guards against outsiders.
I wasn't endorsing outdated philosophies like "humans can't be reformed," "the stain of suspicion never fades," or simplistic good-vs-evil dichotomies. This was just a plain scientific fact. Our brains are wired with "Beep! Outsider detected! Re-ject! Re-ject!" as the core algorithm. No matter how much the era shifts or technology advances, what does it matter? Ultimately, it's all the fault of our lazy-ass genes. They created the first Homo sapiens and, for about 300,000 years since, have basically just gone, "Eh, we're alive, right?" with zero maintenance or debugging. Humanity suffering from diabetes, herniated discs, and baldness? Classic cases of genetic sloth.
But if we'd just mindlessly rejected outsiders like that, humanity never could've built civilization on this scale. That's because our brains have an algorithm for accepting "outsiders" as "insiders." A prime example from Korean society:
"Hey! You a foreigner? Get outta our country!"
"I served in the military, sir."
"Oh! Then you're Korean! Sorry about that!"
Applying the same situation to where I am now, at Scalaiive:
"Hey! Who the hell are you? Get outta my office!"
"I'm a Scalaiive 3rd gen recruit!"
"Oh! Then you're family!"
The moment I signed the employment contract and became an official Scalaiive VTuber (prospective), my stay in the on-call dorm doubled. We can chalk that up to the following logic working its magic.
=== That day, at the "Help Yuna" meeting, the president said to me:
"I've got an amazing offer! How about you become a VTuber too?"
I replied:
"Sure!"
And just like that, I became a VTuber. Was it too quick a decision? Nah, I wasn't in a position to overthink it. Overthink what, fuck? My account's empty. With my life about to go to shit, who in their right mind would turn down this "irresistible offer"? With the capitalist natural disaster holding a knife to my throat right now, anyone seeking revenge against it would have to be a raving lunatic with bloodshot brains. (In other words, communists, aka reds.) I survived—that's what matters! That's all that matters!
So I signed the employment contract on the spot. Thanks to the president's infinite mercy, I got an advance on my salary, cleared my debts, and scored a free temporary crash pad in the on-call dorm...
"This proves no one can kill this UNA now! Uwahahaha—!"
I let out a triumphant roar, convinced nothing could touch me. I looked just like a vampire who'd crushed their arch-nemesis with a road roller.
On-call dorm, Day 1. Alone in the empty office, I shouted it out. Doing something insane in a space where everyone else is supposed to be quietly working? Thrilling as hell. Humans always wanna do the forbidden even more when told not to, right? And yet, even though this was blatantly against the rules, no one was around to stop me. It was the weekend—Sunday morning, not even 8 a.m. Who the hell shows up to the office at this hour?
"Omae... nanimonda...?" / You... who the fuck are you...?
I slowly turned my head toward the voice spouting awkward yakuza-style Japanese. The other person was decked out in landmine-girl fashion slathered in black, with a skull-pattern eyepatch over one eye. Didn't look all there, honestly.
=== You've probably seen it in one-on-one fights like boxing or wrestling: they don't charge right in; they circle and size each other up first. Everyone knows it's not because they're cowards or idiots. It's probing the opponent's strength, psyche, strategy—or starting a psychological pressure game. Ultimately, this "scouting phase" is a smart, practical step toward landing a decisive blow.
It's not just humans; animals love it too. Wolves or dogs baring teeth, tigers narrowing their pupils to slits while glaring. So in Scalaiive's empty office, two subhuman beasts slowly engaging in a scouting phase? Perfectly natural.
"..."
"..."
They glared at each other. Even just standing there, face-to-face, doing nothing... the air thickened with silent tension. Faint echoes of some old 20th-century country pop tune. The acrid scent of black powder and dry sand wafting in. Thud-thud-thud— like tumbleweeds rolling past on a sand-swept wind. Must've been my imagination...
Slooowly—
Slooowly—
They spread their legs slightly to the sides. Classic beast move to exaggerate size differences and intimidate. The eyepatch landmine girl widened her eyes in a fierce stare, using her sharp gaze to threaten. But UNA's invisible eyes—hood and mask on even indoors—evoked an ancient terror in living things: fear of the unknown.
This... was UNA's win.
UNA... 1 point. Score: 1-0!
But...
"...Hmph."
"...!"
The landmine girl brushed off the fear of the unknown with a smirk. Makes sense—she'd been in and out of this space plenty. She was at home here. Even a stray dog owns half the yard in its own turf. In her terms, this was "territory deployment." The opponent had already entered her domain, putting UNA at a disadvantage without deploying her own... which she couldn't!
This... was the landmine girl's win.
Landmine girl... 1 point. Score: 1-1! Tie!
The territory-deployed landmine girl pressed her attack.
"Temé... dokono mooonda..." / You... what group you from...?
She probed affiliations in yakuza dialect—a classic opener: "You know who I am?" Landmine girl: Scalaiive 3rd gen prospective. Plus, a close blood relative is a Scalaiive co-founder! Any normie would've folded here...
But... UNA didn't yield! She overpowered it!
"...Sōzashite shitsurei itashimashita. Soru Yuna to mōshimasu." / ...Sorry for the disturbance. I'm Seol Yuna.
Flawless pronunciation and perfect grammar in Japanese! Shocking counter! UNA had just matched the opponent's Japanese, assuming she was Japanese...
"Kuh...!"
Landmine girl was Korean! Pure-blooded Korean who'd never set foot in Japan! Her anime-and-yakuza-game pidgin Japanese couldn't parse that!
This... was UNA's win.
UNA... 1 point. Score: 2-1...!
The battle intensified...!
UNA's next Japanese salvo met landmine girl's Korean retort! Landmine girl... humiliated! UNA 1 point!
Landmine girl's incomprehensible fashion and chuuni antics! UNA genuinely couldn't process it! Fear of the unknown! Terrifying! Landmine girl 1 point!
UNA's social anxiety flares! Slight stutter! Landmine girl mocks it! What humiliation! Landmine girl 1 point!
A scouting phase too close to call between the two beasts! Both slick with cold sweat on palms and backs!
But a third-party observer wonders: Why not just greet each other? Introduce yourselves? No clue!
Even UNA and landmine girl, locked in standoff, didn't realize! Nor did Scalaiive's president, An Huiyeon! She'd gone home early for once so UNA could rest easy in the dorm—cozy time with hubby... but piled-up work dragged her back in!
Scalaiive's undisputed queen watched them and reaffirmed her philosophy once more.
'Yeah, crazies are always entertaining to watch...'
Self-evident truth!