Chapter 29
Chapter 29
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Translator: Mod7
Chapter: 29
Chapter Title: Chapter 4 - Funeral
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“…Ugh.”
The sight of the skeleton brought a wave of nausea.
Life was cheap here. I had witnessed too much death in just a few months.
“Doctor, you must swallow.”
I forced the vomit back down, but the burning sensation in my esophagus was almost unbearable.
Tears welled up, my eyes watering against my will. Nausea, it seemed, always triggered my tear ducts.
I wouldn't cry over this.
I had to be strong to survive. My own survival had to take precedence over grief and fear for the dead.
I knew this,
I had been living by this principle,
But-
“Ugh- retch-”
I couldn't detach the image of the skeleton from the memories of Dan and [him]. A mixture of watery honey and stomach acid spilled from my lips.
While struggling to survive, I hadn't had time to process my grief,
But now, with a moment of respite, the suppressed emotions, the denial and the sorrow, consumed me.
“Doctor.”
Amy, ever rational, offered her diagnosis.
“The psychological trauma appears to be causing significant physical impairment.”
Sometimes, we couldn't even understand ourselves.
In those moments,
We needed someone else to tell us the truth.
“I recommend securing minimal rations, then prioritizing rest.”
Amy couldn't comprehend my pain. She couldn't understand the grief of loss and death.
Yet, she opened her mouth, as if about to offer some comfort, then,
“…”
Closed it again.
A wise decision, recognizing that words wouldn't alleviate my suffering.
A hug would have been more comforting…
But without a body, she couldn't offer that simple gesture of support.
I forced myself to stand, my body still trembling from the lingering nausea and the resurfacing trauma.
Rest could wait.
Without food or water,
I couldn't afford to relax.
“…D-don’t worry. I’m fine. Let’s deal with the immediate threats first, then rest. We need to find food…”
But I felt a strange sense of peace.
Searching for food was preferable to huddling in the silent cave, replaying the deaths of Dan and [him] in my mind.
***
I decided to use the altar as our base of operations.
With its hidden entrance, it offered a degree of protection from other creatures.
While its purpose was unknown, and slightly unsettling, I doubted it would pose a threat as long as I didn't disturb it.
Gathering supplies was my priority.
Searching for the Paradise’s scattered rations was too time-consuming, so I had to rely on hunting and foraging.
Outside the cave, trees and plants grew in abundance. Many of them bore fruit.
“This is not safe for human consumption.”
“Damn it, it looks like a raspberry.”
…But most of the fruits and plants were inedible.
How would I have survived without Amy?
I would have starved to death.
Amy, using the information [he] had provided, identified the edible plants.
Taste was irrelevant.
Survival depended on consuming nutrients. Flavor was a secondary concern.
“Ugh-”
But theory and practice were different.
No matter how much I told myself that taste didn't matter, I couldn't ignore the bitterness.
A single bite filled my mouth with the acrid taste of unripe vegetation. I needed to find water and build a fire to cook these things.
I missed the sweetness of the honey.
So sweet and flavorful, requiring no preparation…
“…”
No, wait.
I couldn't think like that. I didn't know what would happen if I continued consuming the narcotic honey.
But I craved its calming effects, its soothing warmth.
It had been,
So sweet.
***
Chew-
Chew…
I continued stuffing my mouth with plants as I walked back to the cave.
I had gathered a decent amount of vegetation and some crunchy fruits.
I had to eat, to regain my strength.
Then, I could expand my search area and look for proper rations and protein.
But chewing the plants was agonizing.
They didn't taste unripe, but the bitterness was intense.
My mind kept returning to the sweet memory of the honey. When I had been drinking it, I had felt free from all my worries, from the constant threat of death.
“Sigh…”
If I hadn't tasted the honey, I could have endured this.
But now, knowing its intoxicating sweetness, everything else tasted like garbage.
Every cell in my body screamed.
–Honey!
–Can’t we have more of that?
–We need calories! Why aren’t you eating that delicious stuff!
…It wasn't a joke, I could actually hear those voices. I wasn't sure if I was losing my mind, or if my craving for the honey was that intense.
Only my willpower held firm.
No narcotics.
I had never touched drugs, not even back at headquarters. I didn’t even smoke…
“Ah- this is delicious.”
So, I chewed the plants, forcing myself to swallow, muttering empty praises, trying to convince myself.
“Delicious. Really. I’m saved.”
I wouldn't succumb to temptation.
I wouldn't be seduced by the honey.
Never.
***
Thud-
“Sigh.”
Back in the cave, I started digging.
Someone might ask why I was wasting my energy, digging a hole with a rock. Amy had asked the same question.
“Doctor, cease this unproductive activity. You require rest.”
“I’m resting.”
“I fail to understand.”
A reasonable question. But I continued digging, sweat dripping from my brow.
“I’m burying him. I couldn’t bury Dan or the other man, so I’ll bury this skeleton instead.”
Amy fell silent.
She knew my actions were irrational, but she also understood that humans often coped with stress in irrational ways.
“…Understood.”
“Yes.”
“There is a rock beneath the surface. I recommend digging in the opposite direction.”
“Thank you.”
This was my small act of defiance. Defiance against this entire planet.
A simple funeral for the dead,
A way to ease my conscience.
“Sigh… that’s better.”
It took about 30 minutes to dig a suitable hole.
I carefully gathered the skeleton and its tattered clothes and placed them inside.
“Uh, Doctor.”
“Yes?”
“I apologize for interrupting the funeral, but… there are other objects within the clothing, in addition to the bones.”
I wanted to bury the deceased with his belongings, but
“I recommend examining them. They possess a similar [energy] signature to the hide you are wearing.”
Amy wouldn't have said that without a reason.
Energy signature…
She usually avoided such vague terminology.
“Hmm, excuse me…”
I unfolded the tattered clothing, offering a silent prayer.
There were several pockets, surprisingly full for their size.
Among the contents was a welcome sight.
A syringe, the same type that had saved my life twice already.
“Everyone seems to use syringes here. Let’s find more and keep them.”
The rest of the items were unfamiliar.
A cracked mirror that didn't reflect my image properly,
And a necklace-like ornament.
Its purpose was unknown.
“Amy, nothing particularly noteworthy, right?”
“Could you show me the necklace more closely?”
But Amy seemed interested in the old, worn necklace.
I placed it in front of her, and she examined it, along with the leather robe [he] had been wearing, then…
“Doctor, I request permission to perform a detailed analysis. Estimated processing time: three hours.”
She asked for my permission to perform a more thorough scan.
“Really…? Sure, go ahead.”
I had no reason to refuse.
I wasn't planning on leaving the cave for the next three hours anyway. I would bury the skeleton and take a nap.
My mind still unsettled,
I lay down, enjoying the unexpected respite.
Alone in the dim cave,
I tried to sleep.
“…”
It was quiet.
The only sounds were the occasional scurrying of insects, who ignored me, disappearing back into their burrows.
But I couldn't sleep.
I was exhausted, but my mind was racing.
“Just let me sleep. Please.”
I tossed and turned,
But my mind, left to its own devices, was once again consumed by thoughts of death and loss.
I couldn't even rest properly.
In this cold, lonely cave,
The only thing my mind and body craved was…
“…”
The sweet honey.
Nothing else.
With Amy temporarily silent,
My desire for the honey intensified.
It was strange.
The cave entrance was sealed,
Yet I could smell the sweet fragrance.
I closed my eyes, trying to resist,
But my mind grew hazy, as if drifting off to sleep…
And then,
I found myself back at the flower field, my face buried between her thighs.
“Huh…? Why am I…?”
I had never felt so full.
The honey filled my stomach, warm and soothing.
A hand rested on my head.
Silent,
Gentle,
A comforting touch.