Episode 76 — The Knight Leaves the Stage (6)
How strange.
All at once, Lee Han felt a start of surprise.
A single year. Looked at one way, it was only the stretch of time in which a knight who had lived cut off from the world—a man entirely alone—had at last begun to meet that world in earnest. Set against the life he had already lived, it was barely a thirtieth; fold in his previous life and it shrank to a sixtieth. A span he might have dismissed as nothing at all.
…So why was it?
Fuller than any time before it.
If he said the past year had been fiercer than any other, and that he had felt more alive in it than he ever had, would anyone believe him?
No regrets. A year that was worth it.
Had the man he used to be laid eyes on him now, he would have been astonished. That boy had been certain he would live out his life in solitude. Could he ever have imagined meeting so many bonds—or that among them there would be people who cherished him, and gave him their affection?
And so Lee Han could dare to say it outright. Even if he heaped together all thirty years he had lived, this past year was the more precious.
To that degree.
It had become a time he had grown fond of, entirely in spite of himself.
"……."
"…Mm."
"Hah… hah!"
No one found it easy to speak.
They had expected it to come to this. In their own way, they had braced themselves. And yet, now that the thing had arrived in the flesh, they understood: a thought was only a thought. The shock that came down on you in reality was something else entirely.
A sob caught in a throat.
The students—Lee Han's disciples—found their voices choking, every one of them, in the same instant.
And then—
"…Kunta does not understand well."
Where the others choked, the barbarian only asked, wearing the same guileless, oblivious face as always, and every eye gathered on him. Even under all that attention he paid them no mind, and went on shining his gaze at his instructor.
"Why must Instructor leave? The one who did wrong is the king. Kunta, and the young masters, and the chicks, and the bears… all of Kunta's classmates almost went back into nature's arms because the king did wrong. Instructor knew, and got angry instead of Kunta and the classmates. Kunta was glad. Kunta thinks what Instructor did was not wrong. The wisest elder of our tribe said so too. If someone does wrong, even the chieftain, even the shaman grandmother, must be scolded. Otherwise the world grows sick. So Instructor did nothing wrong. Kunta guarantees it!"
It was a fairly long speech, for Kunta—and yet there was nothing orderly about it. It was blunt, and innocent as a child's. Had any ordinary noble heard that manner of speaking, a noble who prized logic and philosophy, literature, etiquette, and politics, he would have snorted aloud.
Not one of them, hearing Kunta, dismissed him. It may not have been logical, but the purity of it, the honesty, sank straight into the heart.
And sure enough, a smile gathered at the instructor's mouth, pride and gratitude both showing through, and with them the satisfaction of watching a disciple grow. As if to say the boy had come a long way.
"And here I thought you were just piling on the flattery…."
"Was what Kunta said strange?"
"It's irony for I'm proud of you, you brat."
"…Common speech is still hard."
"Quit the whining."
The instructor snorted, and then—
"Kunta. Our faculty's one and only exchange student."
"!?"
Rarely, he called the name.
"Don't change. If you can, keep that cheerful, innocent side of yours to the very end. Somebody may look at you and call you a savage who can't take in civilization. Ignore every word of that crap. The bastards living in civilized society aren't anything special themselves. They're the pitiful ones. They get sick if they can't compare themselves to other people and prove they stand above them."
"Civilized society is hard…."
"You don't have to understand. Just live the way you live now. When things get hard now and then, lean on your friends. Don't only lean, though. Work at it, so you become the kind of people who can help each other. Do that much, and you'll be walking around with a greater asset in your hands than anything else."
"That is… yes! Kunta is confident! Kunta does not betray friends!"
"Good. That's enough."
"Yes!"
He did not answer Kunta's question. He left him a blessing instead—as if the boy had no particular need to know the kingdom's politics, or the ugliness of its nobles. Only this: that living just as he was would be enough.
And such a blessing was not for one person alone.
"Arno."
"Yes, Instructor."
"Getting along with the writer?"
"I'm doing my best to talk as much as I can."
"And that woman?"
"It's hard, but somehow…."
"Heh. You're the one suffering in the middle."
"…It is all thanks to you, Instructor."
He knew the student's household, and he knew their history, and so the words he could offer were gentle ones. Lee Han did not hesitate.
"Garand."
"You called, sir?"
"You look like you live simpler than anyone, and the truth is you live more tangled up than anyone."
"…Bad-mouthing me out of nowhere?"
"Not bad-mouthing. Fact. Live a little easier. Quit wearing yourself out like that."
"…Heh. I'll bear it in mind, so I will."
"Barry."
"Bear Number Eleven, present!"
"Getting along with your little siblings?"
"They're so full of spirit it's wearing me out."
"Cain."
"Young Master Number Three, present!"
"Rose. Lirina."
"Chick Number Seven, here!"
"Chick Number Twelve, too!"
Name after name was called. Diom, Abel, Dicain, Conrad, Theo, Isaac, Samuel, Joseph, Dylan, Jackson, Hugo, Julian, Melt, Dan, Hans, Dick, Kuven, Miliana, Amelia, Mia, Lily, Chloe, Sophia, Margaret, Millie, Siena, Elsie, Jessie, Aria—and beyond even those, he spoke every student's name, and did not stop until all eighty had been said.
"Jack."
"The gloomy one, present!"
"Cut the crap. Your original nickname was Normie, you little shit."
"Y-you remembered that?"
"You think my memory's that bad?"
"Haha…."
"Real funny. You—for crying out loud, I trained you to be a knight. Why are you turning into a finished assassin?"
"What can I do? This is the talent I have."
"…Well. Can't be helped, that. Talent's all in how you use it. An assassin-knight would be pretty stylish, in its way."
"Is that a compliment, or abuse?"
"If you take it as praise, it's a kind word. If you didn't want to hear it, it's abuse."
"…If another man said it, it would be abuse. When you say it, Instructor, it sounds like a kind word."
"Then that's a relief."
So he called nearly all of them, and left each a word, and at the last he turned his eyes on the few who remained. The three, in a sense, who worried him most.
"Irene Windler."
Her head snapped up.
"Yes! Chick Number One, right here!"
"…Full of energy, aren't you?"
"Y-yes? Ah—no, I'm not!"
"…I'm only saying it just in case, but you are not to follow me."
"!?"
Arin. You're still in the Buddha's palm.
"…Buddha? What…?"
"!!?"
…!
"…Hm? Did I mishear?"
Lee Han ignored the hallucination brushing his ear and gave a shrug.
"Anyway, don't follow me. You follow me, and that duke will make a nuisance of himself."
"…That's part of why I want to leave, actually. That greasy old man has been acting all friendly lately, and it's a headache."
Lee Han was silent.
"Haa. I don't know why he's suddenly like that. He ruins my appetite."
"…Mm."
Well. Quarrels inside a family were for the family to untangle. The problem in front of him was that this magic-using chick was plainly bursting with the urge to come after him.
"Don't follow me."
"Che… That's so mean."
"…You've got things of your own to do, don't you? Then do them."
She said nothing.
"I know you've got as many secrets as those two. If a day comes when we can talk with those secrets out in the open, come find me then. I'll keep you company."
"…You're promising?"
"Yeah."
"Hehe. Then I'll believe you. Instructor doesn't lie."
Our simple little Arin….
"…Why do I keep hearing things?"
"!!?"
Ack—!
"…Anyway."
Lee Han moved on.
"Derek."
"Yes. I'm here."
"Hm. Honestly, I'm not worried about you, and I've got no kind word to give."
"Th-that's discrimination, isn't it?"
"Discrimination, my ass. You've got people to advise you even without me. You've got a clever girlfriend, so there's no need for me to help you with anything, and if you look at your ability alone, you're the most cheat-tier of the lot. Honestly, me worrying about you would be nothing but a lie I told myself."
"…I think you rate me too highly…."
"If anything, I'm rating you too low. I don't know about the rest of it, but if you only had some confidence, you're the kind who could do anything. So I don't worry about you. You'll do well."
Derek was quiet.
"Do what you want to do. Don't do anything you'll regret."
"…Yes."
"Oh, and I recommend you jump the gun. Have a lot of kids, if you can."
"W-we're not that far along yet!!"
"…Sure looks like you are, though."
"!?"
Rubbing salt in the wound right to the end. Annoying, yes—but not entirely hateable.
He patted the shoulder of the gray-haired boy with the System Window, and looked at the black-haired one waiting his turn.
As for this one—
"Honestly, you're the one I worry about most."
"…Me, you mean?"
"Yeah. Roen Dmitri de Lionel."
He flinched. His full name had been spoken.
But Lee Han had not used it to scold him. If anything had to be said, it was this.
"Sometimes I look at you and see a kid who tries to do every last thing alone. A perfectionist. The sort who shows a compulsion that he has to finish it all himself."
"That is…."
"That's why I worry about you."
The worry was sincere.
With a short motion, Lee Han drew his hand axe.
"A gift."
"This is…."
"One I've used for quite a while. It'll serve well enough."
Roen said nothing.
"Once in a while is fine. Once every few months is fine. Try to take a moment's ease, splitting firewood with a hand axe. Don't think too much. Practice trusting other people."
"…Forgive me. I cannot presume to say I will be able to keep it."
"You don't have to promise. Just remember what I said whenever you look at this axe. You only know how to run too fast, and you're clumsy at watching what's around you."
"…I will try. To be able to leave myself some room."
"Good. That's enough."
Blackie still seemed to wonder why such a gift had been given to him, but to Lee Han the boy looked nothing but uneasy. Someone else might have asked where there was any corner left to worry over. In his eyes, the boy was nothing but corners.
If the worry's wasted, so much the better.
It was enough if he alone turned out to be the one who worried too much. Funny, when he thought of it fresh, that he had become a man with this much worry in him.
And so—
"Levi."
"Yes, Master."
"Look after them for me. Every one of them is unsteady somewhere. Mediate a little, from the middle."
"…Yes?"
"And don't you think of following me either."
"I—I…."
"There's no one else I can trust."
"…Master?"
Knowing that the one he trusted most would remain, Lee Han could be at ease.
"Honestly, I don't play favorites just because someone's talented. In my eyes they're all the same—precious, good disciples. …Still. If there were one among them I could trust the most, the most excellent, it would be you."
"M-me?"
"Yeah. You."
With a click of the fittings, Lee Han held out his sword toward the girl, who had gone round-eyed as a rabbit in her surprise.
"I—I can't accept this…."
"The Sword Duke, that woman, said so. You've got plenty of aptitude for swords besides the rapier."
Levi was silent.
"If you see a means to grow stronger, don't hesitate. If you've got talent, dig into it. Widen what you can become."
"Th-that is…."
"You're a bright child. And you've got courage, and the makings to lead other people."
"Y-you're overrating me. I—I'm not that far…."
"I'm speaking from what I've seen."
"!"
"I still remember. A brave woman who took up a sword in the middle of any crisis."
Levi—the girl—had the courage to resist, even inside a calamity. She also knew how to stand back up inside despair. Because she had lived her whole life inside despair, and had learned the way to overcome it.
"You always say you endured because of me. But the one who bore the hardship and overcame it, in the end, was you. All I did was give you a little push from behind."
"Th-that's not true. Because you were there, Master, I…."
"Grow strong. Strong enough that no one can make free with your fate."
She said nothing.
"You understand, don't you? My head disciple."
"…You really are piling the burden on thick, Master."
In the end Levi made a face on the verge of tears. Even so, the girl accepted the sword.
……A sword heavier than any famed blade.
A parting should not be drawn out. With the sword given to Levi as the last of it, Lee Han walked straight out of the Academy.
There were voices trying to hold him. If he let those voices catch him, he would never leave, not for any length of time. It would do nothing but harm to both sides, and so he turned outward without hesitating.
Now, truly, it was time to go alone—
"Sir Knight!"
"…Miss Maid?"
"You came out quickly. I thought it would take longer, hehe."
He had nothing to say to that.
"If there's nowhere else you want to look, let's go right away. Oh, that's right. Where are you going?"
"And what is all that luggage?"
"You're leaving, aren't you? Then you ought to have lots of things!"
"N-no, I mean—that's…."
Lee Han stared, dumbfounded, at Layla Winter, who had a pack on her back larger and sturdier than her own slight frame, and was not shedding a single drop of sweat.
Since when had she been waiting here?
Never mind the waiting. Did she mean to leave with him?
"And your job?"
"I quit!"
"…Why?"
"Because I have to follow you, Sir Knight."
He was silent.
"Hehe. It's lonely if you go alone. So let's go together."
"…For crying out loud."
There were things he still wanted to argue. But looking at that sunlit smile, neither rebuttal nor question would come.
Only this.
"…Is there somewhere you'd like to go?"
"First, I want to see Vulcan."
"The hot spring there is nice, I'll give you that."
"Hehe."
Before a smile that carried the warmth of spring sunlight, all he could feel was a green freshness.
Lee Han took up her pack and walked on as he was, and the maid smiled softly and walked at his side.
Matching their steps, each to the other.
"…Th-they left?"
"Damian? Where have you been all this time?"
"I was on duty. I took a nap. Never mind that—left? …What about me?"
No one answered.
"Me! What am I supposed to do?!"
"…W-well, shall we talk over a cup of tea first?"
"AAAAARGH!!"
On the day the knight departed, a certain assistant instructor howled.
Damian Paulet.
Everyone else was leaving the Academy, and still he could not leave.
Why?
…Because if he meant to resign, he needed the seal of the superior who had appointed him assistant instructor.
And so, with no help from that superior, the only way for him to resign was this.
"Goddamn it—son of a bitch…!"
He had to set out and find the man himself.
In that moment, Damian Paulet's ten-thousand-mile quest to find his superior began.